Tammy Saltzman - Tuesday, February 08, 2011
“Your greatness is measured by your kindness; your education and intellect by your modesty; your ignorance is betrayed by your suspicions and prejudices, and your real caliber is measured by the consideration and tolerance you have for others." - William J. H. Boetcker
Tip 57 is on Consideration. The word consideration can be used in a multitude of ways. Webster's New World College Dictionary defines the word consideration as follows: "the act of considering; careful thought or attention; deliberation; thoughful or sympathetic regard for others; something that is, or should be considered; a thought or opinion produced by consideration; regard, esteem, importance; a recompense, as for services rendered, fee, compensation; something of value given in exchange for something of value given or done by another, inducement for a contract." WOW!!! For purposes of this Tip we are going to focus on consideration of others - more specifically, thoughful or sympathetic regard for others.
So are you someone who is considerate of others? In order to be considerate of others we must be thoughtful of another or be able to sympathize with them. Didn't Confucius once say, "Do not judge me until you walk a mile in my shoes."? When I became a full time step mother and someone from the outside would criticize me, especially the in-laws, I would say, you try raising 3 children who don't belong to you and see how easy it is. People can easily cast stones or pass judgment without first being empathetic and considerate of the person they are judging. I am a firm believe in trying to really imagine what it would be like to be in that person's shoes - how would I react to their circumstances, how would I communicate and what would I say? Confucius also said, "Consideration for others is the basic of a good life, a good society."
Consideration is very important in business. Owners of companies always need to be considerate of their staff as well as considerate of their vendors. Let's also not forget how important it is to be considerate of the patrons that bring income to the business. I am sure if you are a business owner you have heard the saying, "The customer is always right." That sounds like red carpet consideration or said a different way, conderation at its finest. Even when we are faced with an unhappy client sometimes all it takes is a little consideration of the client's woes and they immediately feel appreciated. We all want to feel appreciated and when we are considerate of others they cannot help but feel appreciated. I have always found that instead of asking someone to do something for me it always sounded better asking someone for help to do something. When your staff see that you too are willing to pitch in and help they are much more likely to fully participate and embrace the team spirit. Margaret Chase Smith said,"Every human being is entitled to courtesy and consideration. Constructive criticism is not only to be expected but sought."
Sometimes we form strong opinions and stand strong in our positions. Consideration of others sometimes means hearing other peoples' opinions and trying them on, like a sweater, before completely dismissing their point of view. I am someone who is very strong in their opinions and I can often bump heads with someone who is also strong in their opposing position. We can argue till the cows fly over the moon and it doesn't mean that I am right and they are wrong. It also does not mean that I am wrong and they are right. All it means is that we have opposing views and we are each entitled to our own beliefs. We can agree to disagree. Better yet, how about agreeing to sleep on it for a day or too. Perhaps a little more research is needed. Perhaps speaking to a few other people can help to clarify some issues. I love this quote by Benjamin Franklin, "For having lived long, I have experienced many instances of being obliged, by better information or fuller consideration, to change opinions, even on important subjects, which I once though right but found to be otherwise." So even sometimes, we may change our minds after careful consideration. Wow - how awesome is that.
Consideration in family relationships is always important too. Remember this quote by Bryant H. McGill, "Courteousness is consideration for others; politeness is the method used to deliver such considerations." Children must have consideration for their parents and parents need to have consideration for their children. Most important is in marriages - it is so very important to have consideration for your spouse. Failing to have consideration could destroy any marriage. So children must be taught to respect their parents, tell the truth, and follow the rules of the household. Parents worry and regardless of how old you are you are still your mother's baby. So remember to call your mom when she is sitting home waiting for you. Just a small little effort can make a mom feel appreciated because you are being considerate. Same goes for parents and their children. Do not expose your children to things or people that are not good for them, tell your children the truth - they know when you are lying, be respective of their needs and wants so when your daughter invites you to the school dance know that it is really important to her. Consideration of a spouse is a must and I am sure that the happiest and longest marriages are built on mutual trust, respect and consideration.
When we go back and look at The Ten Commandments - they are basic human rules for a harmonious existence. Those commandments set out rules for everyone to follow so that the people of the world can co-exist together. These ten simple rules are so basic that every single person can follow them if they so desire. Just imagine...., everyone on earth following the ten commandments, everyone living in harmony, everyone being considerate of each other. I love this quote by Dwight D. Eisenhower, "Though force can protect in emergency, only justice, fairness, consideration and cooperation can finally lead men to the dawn of eternal peace."
“A little Consideration, a little Thought for Others, makes all the difference." - Winnie the Pooh
Tammy Saltzman - Tuesday, February 01, 2011
“Be careful what you water your dreams with. Water them with worry and fear and you will produce weeds that choke the life from your dream. Water them with optimism and solutions and you will cultivate success. Always be on the lookout for ways to nuture your dreams." - Lao Tzu
Tip 56 is on Being Careful. Are you someone who tends to be careful and cautious or are you someone that jumps in with both feet and throws caution to the wind? There is a good arguement for both perspectives. Webster's New World College Dictionary defines the word careful as follows, "acting or working in a thoughtful, painstaking way; cautious, wary, or guarded." And the word carefree as, "free from troubles or worry." I do believe that there is a time to be careful and a time to be carefree. Feeling carefree is a gift that we should all enjoy whenever we can and it is usually a reward that we get from being careful. Ben Franklin once said, "Distrust and caution are the parents of security." It is only when we feels most secure that we can throw caution to the wind and enjoy a carefree moment.
As a lawyer it is really my job to look for all the things that can go wrong. It is our job as attorneys to let our clients know what is their worst case scenario. We are trained to look at the upside and weight it against the downside. It is our job to make sure that the client knows the worst possible outcome of each decision they make so that they can make an educated decision. I try hard not to be this pessimistic in my real world, but when a client pays you to play the devils advocate it is our ethical responsibility to perform. Ralph Waldo Emerson will remind us, "A man is usually more careful of his money that he is of his principles."
In business we are always cautious. Buying businesses, taking in partners, hiring employees, and securing vendors. It's a risky business out there and checking out the reputation of the people we do business with makes perfect sense. With today's technology everyone's information is just a click away on Google. The Better Business Buereau and Daily Business Review have all their records available on line. Court records and deeds are all public documents that are now available on line at most court houses throughout the United States. When is comes to financial matters we need to be as careful as possible. Not only do we consult our lawyers, but we now consult our CPA's, financial planners, and our estate planners. Unfortunately, no matter how careful we are are many of life's lessons end up costing us money. Do your best to try and learn the expensive lessons from the mistakes of others. Remember this by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, "Every step of life shows much caution is required." I think that is another way of saying the older we get the more jaded we become.
As a parent I am always cautioning my children to be careful. We start when they are very young. Don't touch the stove, look both ways when you cross. Be careful!! We are worried for our children and don't want them to get hurt. Even as adults our parents are worried and still tell us to be careful. Adam's mom Joan just told him to be careful when he told her all about me this past week. I have heard the same advice as well from my well meaning friends and family. Joan doesn't know me and my friends don't know Adam, but everyone says the same thing, "We are so happy for you. Go slow, be careful." When it comes to matters of the heart it is so much harder to be careful. The excitement and the hope take over and just sweep you off your feet. Aren't we all looking for ever lasting love?? Bertrand Russell once said, "Of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness." Yet e.e.cummings reminds us, "Be of love a little more careful than of anything." I would like to think that what he meant was that once you find love be careful with it, preserve it and cherish it so that you don't lose it. Sorry Joan, it's too late - if it doesn't work out it will probably hurt, but if it does work out - G-d bless and thank you Lisa.
“It is better to err on the side of daring than the side of caution." - Alvin Toffler
Tammy Saltzman - Monday, January 31, 2011
“None of us got where we are solely by pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps. We got here because somebody - a parent, a teacher, an Ivy League crony or a few nuns - bent down and helped us pick up our boots."- Thurgood Marshall
Tip 54 is on Appreciation. Specifically appreciation of other people in your life that really made a difference. Many people come and go into our lives everyday, but every now and then we are moved by the acts of others. Look back and see who is it that really impacted your life in one way or the other. The impact could even be bad, but what we actually learned was good. Have we said "thank you" to the people that have made some lasting impression? I started thinking about this as I prepared for the International Speech Contest tomorrow at Toastmasters. I am doing my speech about my dad and all the lessons that I have learned from him and how much I appreciate all that I learned. I can't call my dad to say thank you, but I can honor his memory by keeping his name (Saltzman) and using all that I learned from him for good. I love this quote by John F. Kennedy, "As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them."
As I started to think about all my appreciation I have for my dad, I started realizing that in the last few days I have been very appreciative. My dear friend Monty invited me to one of his infamous wine dinners. The food and wine was delicious, the company delightful, and a good time was had by all. Another dear friend Lisa set me up on a blind date Saturday night. The date happened to be one of the best blind dates I ever had, but regardless, I was so appreciative that she thought of me and passed my number along. I tried to express my appreciation by sending Monty an email the next morning and texting Lisa some of the details from my Saturday night date. Remember, Mark Kay Ash once said, "Everyone wants to be appreciated, so if you appreciate someone, don't keep it a secret." As far as love is concerned, Alexander Smith reminds us, "Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others, and the delight in the recognition." Hence, the great date with Adam.
You are always hearing me talk about how much I love my job and the firm that I work for, Ellis, Ged & Bodden, P.A. Yes, I am constantly appreciating my working situation, but it means nothing if I don't communicate it to the people I work for and the people I work with. I am always telling my boss how much I love my job and how much fun I have every single day. I truly believe this quote by William James, "The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated." And if there is ever a time that you don't appreciate your job, please remember this quote by Oscar Wilde, "The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one." And if you are a business owner that happens to have great employees, remember they too want to be appreciated. Sam Walton, founder of Walmart, really said it best, "Appreciate everything your associates do for the business. Nothing else can quite substitute for a few well-chosen, well timed, sincere words of praise. They're absolutely free and worth a fortune."
So, as I was sitting here writing my Tip my son's tutor came in to provide me with the weekly progress report for Brandon. Greg Yodowitz, like most teachers is under paid and under appreciated. Teachers are responsible for our children's futures. Teachers never get enough appreciation. Mr. Yodowitz, we love you, thanks for making a difference in Brandon's education. Dan Rather said it best, "The dream begins with a teacher who believes in you, who tugs and pushes and leads you to the next plateau, sometime poking you with a sharp stick called truth." So really, please act immediately to this anonymous quote, "If you can read this, go thank a teacher." If you live in the Boca Raton area and are looking for a good tutor see Mr. Yodowitz's contact information below.
“We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have." Fredierick Keonig
Tammy Saltzman - Monday, January 24, 2011
“We tell lies when we are afraid...afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing that we fear grows stronger." _ Tad Williams
Tip 54 is on Honesty. My favorite, Webster's New World College Dictionary defines the word honesty as, "the state or quality of being honest; a refraining from lying, cheating or stealing; a being truthful, trustworthy, or upright; sincereity, fairness, straightforwardness." Are you someone who always tells the truth? Or are you someone who tells white lies? Are you someone that justifies telling little white lies to save someone's feelings? Take a good long look at what others would say about you. Are you someone who can be trusted or not? That is a huge question!!! The answer means everything and says everything about your reputation out there in the real world. I am brutely honest to a fault. This proverb totally describes me, "If you truly want honesty, don't ask the questions you don't really want the answers to." Yes, sometimes the truth does hurt, but I would much rather cause a small hurt by telling the truth then causing a huge ongoing hurt because I lied.
This anonymous quote says it all, "Once a liar, always a liar." Once someone lies to you, how could you ever ever ever trust them again. Every single time they say anything to you after they are caught lying, you can't help but wonder if they are lying again. My mom used to always say, "It takes a lifetime to build a good reputation and 15 seconds to destroy it." It is in those 15 seconds that you decide to tell a lie instead of telling the truth. Most of the time when we lie it is because it is easier, or so we think, to tell the lie. So instead of saying, I'm tired tonight and not in the mood to go out to dinner - we say sorry my kid is sick. I am not sure why some of us think it is easier to lie because now days later when you speak with that friend you need to remember that you told them the kid was sick and the lying continues when they ask you how your kid is feeling. I love this Spencer Johnson quote, "Integrity is telling myself the truth. And honesty is telling the truth to other people." Integrity also means not looking for loopholes to justify your lies.
Many years ago when I took the original EST Training, I was 15 years old, and I decided right there and then to never ever tell a lie again. I decided that I wanted to be someone who others could trust. I wanted to have a reputation of honor and integrity. William Shakespeare said it best, "Honest is the best policy. If I lose mine honor, I lose myself." It is so much easier to just tell the truth and deal with the ramifications at the time. It takes so much more effort to lie. Here is another great quote, this time by Mark Twain, "If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything."
White lies never hurt anyone..., How many times have you heard that. It might not hurt the person you are lying to, but it definitely hurts you. You become known as someone who doesn't tell the truth. You are someone who tells white lies. I love this quote by Austin O'Malley, "Those who think it is permissible to tell white lies soon grow color blind." We make excuses for our small white lies and justify our actions by saying we are saving another person's feelings. Remember this yiddish proverb, "A half truth is a whole lie." It is never easier to just tell a small white lie.
We have all heard this quote before, "Actions speak louder than words." How about, "Children learn from example." Think about this. Your children will grow up and emulate you as best as they can. How do you want your children to view you? They know the truth - they are always an earshot away. They know in their hearts whether you are a parent who tells the truth or not. Think about this quote from Roy L. Smith, "We are apt to forget that children watch examples better that they listen to preaching." And here is another great quote to remember from Clarence Businton Kelland, "My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it." Keep this in mind next time you are on the phone or at a store or you have company over and your children are there to watch, to hear and to learn from your example. Be the kind of parent that sets a good example for your children. Teach them to tell the truth! Always remember this quote by William Shakespeare, "No legacy is so rich as honesty."
“To be persuasive we must be believable; to be believable we must be credible; to be credible we must be truthful." - Edward R. Murrow
Tammy Saltzman - Tuesday, January 11, 2011
“People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges." -Anonymous
"He who burns his bridges better be a damn good swimmer." - Proverb
Tip 53 is on Burning Bridges. To burn or not to burn is the question? Are you someone who burns bridges or you someone who never burns a bridge. I am sure that we have already talked about this topic once before, but we can all think about this topic again. For me, I am a firm believer in never burning bridges. I have come to learn in my life that you just never know when you might need to cross that bridge again and if you burn it you can never go back. Of course, there are always circumstances that might warrant such drastic action, but those are far and few.
So, why burn the bridge in the first place? There could be many reasons to burn a bridge, but we should exam the reasons. Make a list of all the people in your life that you have cut off - never to be spoken to again. Jot a note beside each name to see why you have decided to burn that bridge. If someone wronged you: slept with your spouse, stole money from your accounts, etc., you are justified. "If you hurt me once shame on you, but if you hurt me twice shame on me." We can cut those people out that lie, cheat and steal. Who needs their bad karma around us? You can also eliminate people who treat others with no respect. I once had a friend that I met through another couple. We would go out together as couples for dinner. Every single time we went out this friend would be nasty to the restaraunt personnel, rude to the valet and then spend most of the night emasculating her husband. FInally, after about 5-6 dinners with this couple I refused to go out with them anymore. Believe it or not when she asked why I told her the truth.
A lot of times we burn bridges because we don't get our way and we get angry. Elliott Larson said it best, "Anger always comes from frustrated expectations." Hearing the word "no" can really set a lot of people off and then we say or do things out of anger that has the potential to burn the bridge even if it's not what we intended. This often happens with the people we love most - like our children. This past week one of my children was finally moving out and getting his own place. He is 21 years old and when his dad and I got married he was 9 and he and his siblings came to live with me. This past year he has been living with me even though his dad has not. When I asked him to move out because things were not really working out for me he got angry and told me I am not his mother, never will be his mother, and never ever to call him again. He is lucky I love him unconditionally or I may have allowed him to burn that bridge. Unfortunately, he took advantage and didn't really appreciate the opportunity I provided living home with me. He felt entitled. I love this quote by Marian Wright Edelman, "Don't feel entitled to anything you didn't sweat and struggle for." And here is a great quote from William James, "The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated." Regardless, be careful of cutting people of your life just because you couldn't get your way.
Sometimes we burn bridges in business. The most common mistake is burning a relationship with one of our customers. Trust me when I tell you there is no amount of money in the world that you could pay to counteract bad press from even one other person out there carrying a vendetta. The price you would need to pay to make the customer happy and satisfied is so much less than the damage one unhappy customer is capable of doing. Always, always, always try to go the extra mile to satifisy even the most difficult of customers. Sometimes it's not fair and the customer is not right, but it is so much better to have a happy customer than to have an unhappy one. In business, the customer is always, always, always right. Remember this quote by Dennis Wholey, "Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting a bull not to attack you because you are a vegitarian." Life isn't always fair and sometimes we need to come out of pocket to make someone happy.
“Maturity is: The ability to stock with a job until it's finished; The abilility to do a job without being supervised; The ability to carry money without spending it; and The ability to bear an injustice without wanting to get even." - Abigail Van Buren
Tammy Saltzman - Tuesday, December 28, 2010
“Joy lies in the fight, in the attempt, in the suffering invovled, not in the victory itself." - Mahatma Gandi
Tip 52 is on Happy Happy Joy Joy!!! Tis the season to be joyful and what a great quote to start this tip with. This is the time of year we are usually setting our new goals for the next year and making resolutions. I recommend that you all take some time to look back over the past year and look for the Happy Happy Joy Joy that you all experienced. Look at all of your accomplishments, all the new connections you made and friendships that you formed. Look at all the things that others did for you this year and all the things that you did for others. WOW - what a year it has been. Please pat yourself right now on the back, yes right now, and feel the joy from accomplishing all that you accomplished. I love this anonymous quote, "Joy springs from within; no one makes you joyous; you choose joyfulness."
When I look back at the last year I can honestly say that things did not really turn out for me as I had expected. Never in a million years did I think I would be getting divorced. I can sit at home and cry over all the lost dreams and sulk about how lonely I am without someone to kiss on New Years. But there is no joy in that!! Marianne Williamson, whom I love, once said, "Joy is what happens when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things are. Joy is not necessarily what happens when things unfold according to our plans." How true that is, we are busy making plans and they don't always work out exactly as we planned. So instead of focusing on how my marriage did not work out, I would rather focus on the good. Spending last year at home with my soon to be ex was horrible. We were invited to my friend Lisa's and at the last minute my ex threw a fit and didn't want to go. Not wanting to leave him alone, I stayed home too. He went to bed mad, I was sad and lonely, and the rest is history. I am certain, no matter what, that this year will be better than that. Not one part of me wishes that I could go back to that. I would rather celebrate that this year it is so much better to be alone than with someone that you can't stand.
I also want to celebrate my new job with Ellis, Ged & Bodden. How great is it to create your dream job? Wow - I work with great people, the firm has a great reputation, my providers are wonderful and I am having fun every single day. Phil Jackson said, "Winning is important to me, but what brings me real joy is the experience of being fully engaged in whatever I'm doing." Giving 110% is what it is all about. Doing a great job, going the extra mile, showing up fully engaged and having fun. Remember this anonymous quote, "Enjoy life, This is not a dress rehearsal." If you don't love what you do every day make it your mission for next year to find a job that makes you happy. Life is way too short to be miserable every day. This is also a great time of year to thank others for their service. Saying thank you in any way is better than not saying thank you at all. It does not take big bonuses or large presents to let someone know that you appreciate all they do. I decided to get chocolates for the support staff that helps me most at the office. Starbucks cards for my stylist, manicurist and postman. The smile on their faces was worth the small amount of money I spent and boy did it make me feel good to say thank you. Remember this important quote by Robert Murray McCheyne, "Joy is increased by spreading it to others." And this quote by Neal Donald Walch, "Release the joy inside of another, and you release the joy that is inside you."
Be careful not to be jealous of others. Bask in the happiness of others. Everyone is entitled to a little happiness, even though you yourself may not be at the happiest time of your life. I am so happy for my friends who have someone special to share this holiday season with and I am sure that they too would be happy for me if the shoe was on the other foot. This is a great quote from Robert A. Heinlein, "One of the sanest, surest, and most generous joys of life comes from being happy over the good fortune of others." This is not an easy task, but it is the most selfless of things one can aspire to be. I just love this quote from Maya Angelou, "When you wish someone joy, you wish them peace, love, prosperity... all good things." Go out there and share your joy. Wish the friends and family in your life good things. Share in their happiness and bask in their rays of joy. There is enough joy to go around in the world. Remember this quote always by Henry Ward Beecher, "The sun does not shine for a few trees and flowers, but for the wide world's joy."
I want to wish all of you out there, my very loyal readers, a very happy and healthy new year. As always I wish for you all that you wish for and I am always here to help you along your path to finding your true dreams and aspirations and helping you to achieve them. Live your truth and let others live their truths. Say thank you to those you love and appreciate. Thank you to all my loyal readers for reading my weekly tips, sending me your feedback, and for sending me so many numerous offers for writing, speaking and entertaining. I am looking forward to much success in the new year for all of us.
“What I know for sure is that you feel real JOY in direct proportion to how connected you are to living your truth." - Oprah Winfrey
Tammy Saltzman - Tuesday, December 14, 2010
“The more clear and definite you make your picture then, and the more you dwell upon it, bringing out all its delightful details, the stronger your desire will be, and the stronger your desire, the easier it will be to hold your mind fixed upon the picture of what you want." Wallace D. Wattles
Tip 51 is on Manifestation. Some definitions of the word "manifest" from the Webster's New World College Dictionary are, "palpable, evident; to make clear, show plainly, reveal; to show itself." Sounds like magic, but it is as simple as this quote by Henry Ford, "Whether you think you can or can't you are right." I don't know about you, but I would much prefer to think I can all of the time. I can create my own reality and I choose that reality to be one that revolves around the basic concept of "I can".
The first step in manifesting your dreams is to write them down. Once you commit your dreams to paper they become a real goal that you can now break down into steps necessary to achieving your dream. Remember this quote by Napoleon Hill, "Whatever your mind can conceive and can believe, it can achieve." What is it that you want to manifest in 2011. Even Pablo Picaso once said, "Everything you can imagine is real." Is it a new job, a new relationship, more income, or better health? Sit down and think of your dream situation and then commit it to paper. Goals are really just dreams with a time line. Mark Victor Hansen said, "You control your future, your destiny. What you think about comes about. By recording your dreams and goals on paper, you set in motion the process of becoming the person you most want to be. Put your future in good hands - your own." If you really want to up the ante I recommend that you share your written dream with at least one person. I am a firm believer in the more people you tell the more chances for success. Another great thing about sharing your dreams is getting feedback from those that support you. Ignore the naysayers at all costs and fill your world with those who are there to offer positive feedback, suggestions, and key connections for helping you manifest your dreams.
Anything is possible. Wayne Dyer has said, "The power of intention is the power to manifest, to create, to live a life of unlimited abundance, and to attract into your life the right people at the right moments." When I decided to go back to work I knew exactly the type of job I wanted. I decided I wanted to do marketing for a law firm, work from the house, work 25 hours a week, home by 3:00 so I could help my son with his homework, and work with a firm who had a stellar reputation. I knew exactly who to call, founding partner, Ronda Ellis, who was thrilled to have me on board. Not only did I get exactly what I wanted, I love what I am doing and love the people I work for at Ellis, Ged & Bodden, P.A. The power of intention is amazing if you truly believe that you are worthy to reap the rewards. This year I want to work on getting more paid speaking engagements, finalizing my divorce, and figure out a way to stay in my home. All things are possible if you believe them to be so. Carl Sandburg said, "Nothing happens but first a dream."
There will be obstacles in your path. There will be naysayers who tell you that you can't succeed, won't succeed, and the best one, you will never make any money doing that. Don't listen to those people. Most of them never believed they could reach their own dreams, so why should you be able to reach yours. James Allen said, "A man sooner or later discovers that he is the master-gardner of his soul, the director of his life." Don't let others rip away your dreams. If you are passionate about something, if it brings you great joy, then follow your true desires and miracles will happen. Watch out for past history playing a part in your future. You may have tried other things in the past that may not have worked out as you expected. Use those as learning experiences to succeed in the future, not as reasons to stop you from following a new dream. I love this quote by Eckhart Tolle,"The past has no power over the present moment." Unless you try, one shall never know. It is better to try and fail that to never have tried at all.
I wish for you all that you wish for in 2011.
“Every great work, every big accomplishment, has been brought into manifestation through holding to the vision, and often just before the big achievement, comes apparent failure and discouragement." - Florence Scovel Shinn
Tammy Saltzman - Tuesday, December 07, 2010
“I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do." - Edward Everett Hale
Tip 50 is on Making a Difference. Do you believe that you can make a difference in the world? Do you believe that just one person can make a difference? I am a firm believer that each and everyone of us can make a difference in the world. William James once said, "Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does." Michelle Rhee is a shining example of someone who believes that she can make a difference. This week's Tip is being dedication to Michelle Rhee who is an inspiration to all of us and someone that I have a tremendous amount of respect for given the fact that she is willing to take a risk, take a stand, make a commitment, and invite us all along for the ride to radically change how the United States Educational System is run. For those of you who don't know Michelle Rhee, please make sure to Google her. In summary, she is the former Chancellor of Schools for Washington D.C. and since her recent resignation has turned down numerous job opportunities even one from the White House. On December 6, 2010, Michelle announced the launch of her new foundation called Students First (www.studentsfirst.org). Michelle has some radical and controversial ideas about how to fix the broken system and I for one am committed to helping her achieve her goal. Anne Frank once said, "How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world."
Back in 1977 when Werner Erhardt launched the Hunger Project our first goal was getting people to take the pledge that they wanted to have Hunger end on the planet. Michelle is heading down the same path, asking us to take a PLEDGE and take a stand saying that we are committed to seeing changes in the educational system so that our children get a better education. Each and every one of taking a pledge really speaks volumes to the powers that be. Leo Rosten once said, "The purpose of life is not to be happy - but to matter, to be productive, to have it make some difference that you have lived at all." Think about that quote and let it really sink in.
Back in 1977 Werner gave me this unbelievable quote by George Bernard Shaw, and it is now one of my favorites:
"This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.
I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and as long as I live it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can.
I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no "brief candle" to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations."
All you need to know is this: The Program for International Student Assessment (PISA) provided the results of a 2009 study given to 15 year olds in 65 of the world's most industrialized nations and the United States scored 17th in reading, 23rd in science, and 31st in math. How can that be when we are supposed to be the greatest nation in the world? How can our young students compete when they are already at such a disadvantage? What is wrong with the way we are educating our students today and what can we do to make changes before it's too late? There is a lot you can do!! Remember this great quote by Sydney Smith, "It is the greatest of all mistakes to do nothing because you can only do a little - do what you can." So, what can you do? First, you can go to the Students First website (www.studentsfirst.org) to read more about the study and Michelle's plans to make things right. Then you could sign the PLEDGE declaring your commitment to making changes to the education system so that our students have a better chance to compete with students from other world nations. Finally, you can share this information with as many people as you can, just as I am doing here with you today. Mark Twain once said,"The miracle, or the power, that elevates the few is found in their perseverance under the prompting of a brave, determined spirit." Michelle started this movement, but it is up to each and everyone of us to help her dream of providing a better education to our students come to fruition.
Please feel free to do more, do whatever it is that you can. I love this quote by Mohammed Ali, "Service to others is the rent you pay for room here on earth." As a speaker I am in front of audiences all the time. I am able to share this message on a regular basis. This past Monday, my friend, family law and appeals attorney and former Mayor of Coral Springs, Scott Brook (www.scottjbrookpa.com) invited me to a PNA meeting at Mythos, a delicious Greek restaurant in Coral Springs, Florida (www.mythosrestaurant.com) to hear my dear friend and colleague Kellie Kuecha (www.kelliekuecha.com) speak about branding. Scott allowed me a few moments to make an announcement where I shared about Students First. Gil Sternbach, the owner of Mythos, he not only made the pledge, but he offered his restaurant for grass root meetings. WOW!!! Congratulations to Mythos!! Remember, this quote by Winston Churchill, "We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give." Thanks to all of you for your support. On Tuesday at Toastmasters I used Students First during my turn at Topics Master. I asked them all to take the pledge. What ever you can give it adds to the momentum and just taking the pledge helps Michelle reach her goals.
“I expect to pass through life but once. If therefore, there be any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, and not defer or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again." - William Penn
Tammy Saltzman - Tuesday, November 30, 2010
“We all have our own life to pursue, our own kind of dream to be weaving, and we all have the power to make wishes come true, as long as we keep believing."
- Louisa May Alcott
Tip 49 is on Words of Encouragement. This weeks tip starts and ends with a quote from Louisa May Alcott, a respected author who made a huge difference in my young life when I read Little Women. When I speak to students one of the first things that I tell them as a key to their own success is to make sure that they are following their own dreams. So often our own dreams are quashed by our parents, family and friends when we are told that what we are dreaming isn't realistic or will never earn us any income. Webster's New World College Dictionary defines the word Encourage as "to give courage, hope or confidence to; to give support to; be favorable to; foster; help." What a wonderful great thing it is to offer encouragement. Christopher Reeves once said, "Once you choose hope, anything is possible."
I just returned from a visit with my family up north. What a great Thanksgiving it was to spend time with my brothers and their beautiful and amazing children. I am dedicating this Tip to my niece Ilana and my nephews Allen, Michael and Max. I am so proud of those kids and I just loved to sit and listen to what they are dreaming for their future here on planet earth. How great it is to even have a dream. Imagine what life would be like if we didn't have any dreams for ourselves. Theodore Roosevelt said, "Believe you can and you're halfway there." Most young adults thrive when they have a plan, a goal or a dream. I have seen the lack of motivation in my own adult children when there is no plan and they have no dream. It is really hard to get through the day unless there is something better that we can reach for. Wherever it may take us and whatever it may be. This is a great quote by Henry David Thoreau, "If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours."
Ilana wants to be a writer and stand up and aspires to one day be on Saturday Night Live. I told her, research the prior cast members and follow in their paths. Find out what schools they went to and how they got their start in comedy. Contact the current staff and see if you can get an internship there. What is the worst they can say? "NO" A silly little word that only has 2 letters which happens to scare a lot of people away from even trying. Remember, NO always means not now. It does not mean NEVER. Allen also wants to be an actor. He has been acting since he was old enough to try out for the local theater groups and summer camp plays. He has not only acted in more than a dozen productions, but he has had many leading roles. He can sing, dance and act and he does it with passion. Every single extra dollar he can spare is spent riding the train to Manhattan to see Broadway and Off Broadway shows to study his craft. He is not someone who needs a dream, but he could definitely use a little more encouragement. We all know how hard it is to succeed in this business, so figure out a Plan B to help get you through until you make it in show business. Here is a great quote by Confucius, "It does not matter how slowly you go up, so long as you don't stop."
Michael is the sweetest of the crowd. Never great at books and homework but he has a love and passion for computers. At the very young age of 13 he managed to get himself an internship with a computer company giving him enough confidence to launch his own computer repair side business. With the right encouragement and a little help from cousin Joey maybe one day he will be offered a job with Microsoft. One never knows - Why not dream big. Max the wild one of the bunch is a soccer maven. Not only playing, but now refereeing games. He is mature, confident and sure of his calls even at the young age of 15. He one day wants to work with FIFA and at the rate he is traveling (warp speed ahead) I have no doubt this young man will accomplish every single one of his goals. A great quote by Craig Venter, "I don't know if the optimist or the pessimists are right. But the optimists are going to get something done."
We all come into this life with the sole purpose to make a difference in the lives of others. How great an opportunity to start at home with our own children giving them a reason to believe and hope. My own 21 year old son has lost his way and took a semester off from college. We spent many a night talking about his interests and what "turns him on." We talked about business, college, armed forces, technical schools, police force and EMTs. We covered many topics and researched some of them more. I believe he lacks a dream and a plan for himself in the future. Just finishing college is not exciting unless you have an idea of what you would like to accomplish with that degree. I do my best to love and support him with words of encouragement and hope. I am certain he will eventually find his way. James R. Cook once said, "Do just once what others say you can't do and you will never pay attention to their limitations again." I believe that he can do whatever it is that he sets his mind to. We discovered that he does have a dream to be in criminal investigation..., stay tuned.
If you don't have children or our children are already grown look for other opportunities to encourage others.Today in Toastmaster's Dan spoke of his grandfather who took Dan aside upon graduation from High School and taught him the art of making a plan. Sitting down with him to teach him about Goal Setting and how to make "SMART" goals. Wow! Dan was so lucky to have someone in his life to encouragement him to set goals and teach him the proper way to set them out. Dan has used this to teach many of his staff how to set proper goals to help them achieve their dreams. We all want to be successful and earn a lot of money, but we need a specific plan to provide the road map. Dan is now teaching others to create their own road map. Dan is living this quote by Mark Twain, "Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great."
“Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see them, and try to follow where they lead. - Louisa May Alcott
Tammy Saltzman - Tuesday, November 23, 2010
“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.
- Melody Beattie
Tip 48 is on Giving Thanks. What better time of year than Thanksgiving to address the topic of giving thanks. This is one of my favorite topics and one that I am very passionate about. I think we all need to be more more thankful in our lives and why not start on Thanksgiving. We all have holiday traditions that we share on this holiday many of which include going around the family table to say something they are grateful for this year. I hope and pray that all of you don't wait for one time per year to show thanks. This is something that we should be working on every single day of our lives. My favorite Oprah Winfrey quote is, "Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough."
You have heard me many times before talk about the list that I keep near my bed that itemizes all the things that I am grateful for. I always find that when I am feeling down or I start feeling sorry for myself, looking at my list helps to put things back in perspective for me. It reminds me that I have so much in my life to be grateful for. Some of those things are obvious; like I am very grateful for my children, while other things are not so obvious; like I am grateful that my ex-husband introduced me to my friend Lisa who is someone very near and dear to me today - even though the husband has since moved away. Being grateful has helped me tremendously in getting through my divorce. Brian Tracy once said, "Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation." This is hard concept to understand when things are not turning out the way you expected, but looking at the positives helps to ease the pain. For example, I am grateful to my ex-husband for the following: my beautiful 9 year old son, my 3 wonderful stepchildren, my mother-in-law, my girlfriend Lisa, my dog Oreo, him allowing my grandmother to live in our home for 7 months, for giving me the financial support to get my law practice off the ground..., I can go on and on. I choose to focus on all that I am grateful for rather than the things that make me feel sad or angry.
My son started writing an essay last night for English. The prompt was to write a story about what someone else is grateful for regarding you. My son chose to title his essay, "My Mom's Favorite Word Is Okay." Since my son was able to speak and respond, every single time he said the word okay I jumped up and down for joy. He knows this is my favorite word and when he says it I will certainly make a big deal of it. He wrote how grateful I am when he says okay to walking the dog, setting the table or doing his reading. He gets this concept of grateful because he was right on the money. I am beyond grateful when he accomodates my requests. It has turned into a game that we play and he is always rewarded for good behavior even if it's just with hugs and kisses. Sarah Ban Breathnach reminds us, "Every time we remember to say "thank you", we experience nothing less than heaven on earth." I am a firm believer on focusing on good behavior to reinforce what makes me happy and grateful. Thank you Brandon for saying "okay".
I would like to challenge all of you out there who will be visiting with family this weekend. Try approaching your time with the goal of telling each person in your life the one thing that you are grateful for regarding them. Every single person in our lives makes some kind of impact. Let the people in your life know how they have affected your life. Albert Scweitzer once said,"At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us." Who has lit your flame at one time or another? This is the greatest gift that you could bestow on someone. I promise you 2 things; (1) it will make their day and put a huge smile on their face, and (2) it will make you feel on top of the world. Please let me know how it goes. This weekend I will be grateful to my brother and his wife for helping me to get to NJ to be with my family to celebrate Thanksgiving together. If it weren't for them we would be staying home alone.
“Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so let us all be thankful." - Buddha
