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Thank you Tammy for sharing the secrets of your success in business and relationship building. You have truly inspired me to take my business to the next level!

- Dick Sundel, Full Service House Sitting LLC

Tammy's Tips

Gratitude

Tammy Saltzman - Wednesday, September 28, 2011
“The unthankful heart... discovers no mercies; but let the thankful heart sweep through the day and, as the magnet finds the iron, so it will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings!" - Henry Ward Beecher 

Tip 71 is on Gratitude.  I am beyond grateful that today I get to present to you my 71st Tip. How awesome is that? Everyone has heard many times "Count your blessings" well I am here to tell you that counting your blessings is the true key to all happiness in life. Spending time wishing for, hoping for, or waiting for something to happen so that you can be happy is really such a waste of precious time and energy. I am always reminding people, "This is not a dress rehearsal" so why wait to be happy. Why spend time complaining about things we don't have or scores we need to settle? Who really cares? Why not focus on what we do have and be grateful for everything in our life today just as it is NOW. I just love this quote by Epictetus, "He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has."

The moment I start feeling sorry for myself, which I refer to as my "Pity Party" I immediately go into grateful mode. I grab my journal or any piece of paper will do and start writing down all the things for which I am grateful. The list is often the same list from the last time, but nevertheless, I go through the motions and write down my list. Gerald Good reminds us, "If you want to turn your life around, try thankfulness. It will change your life mightily." I am grateful for so many things and I much prefer to focus on that. Focusing on the things that I am grateful for brightens my mood, improves my day and gives me this feeling of overall contentment. What are you grateful for? Believe it or not, I am even grateful for my ex-husband. I was blessed with a wonderful son and 3 incredible step children. He provided financially for us allowing me to open my own law firm and title company. I can go on, but I am hoping that you get my point. I would rather focus my energy on all the things that he did good rather than spend my time focusing on all that he did bad. Brain Tracy reminds us, "Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation." 

Expressing gratitude to others is one of the best things you can do to brighten your day. William Arthur Ward once said, "Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it." Last Friday I spoke for Women's Executive Network and as the members went around the room introducing themselves they complimented the next person before handing over the microphone. Smiles quickly spread around the room with everyone receiving a compliment. Try giving 3 compliments today to anyone around you. Compliment them on anything - their service, their shoes, their hairstyle. Watch as their face lights up and the warm feelings spread through you. In business, complimenting and rewarding your staff for a job well done is the best way to motivate them to work harder for you and go the extra mile. Gratitude and appreciation of others gives them wind beneath their wings. Try it at home with your kids and your spouse. You can read Whale Done if you want some great reading on how to raise children with compliments instead of criticism. Remember this quote by John F. Kennedy, "As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them."

 Who are you grateful for? When was the last time that you told them how grateful you were?  Albert Schweitzer said it best, "At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us." I am always so grateful for Richie, my best friend and first real business mentor. How about being grateful for those out there that are grateful for us? Dr. Abraham Fischler, someone I admire and respect, is always complimenting me on my Tips and forwarding them to others. I am grateful for him in my life and always love hearing from him. Just this week I got a beautiful card from, Cindy,  a business contact and now good friend, just thanking me for all that I do and the kind of person I am. I am grateful for her in my life too. Let those people in your life know how grateful you are for them - it will make their day. Hazrat Inayet Khan said, "A person however learned and qualified in his life's work in whom gratitude is absent, is devoid of that beauty of character which makes personality fragrant."

The Jewish New Year is upon us and it is a great time of to be grateful for all that we have so that next week we can repent. We are also coming to the end of the 3rd quarter of 2011 and there is much we have already accomplished this year to be grateful for. The good news is that we still have 3 months of the year left to run out and finish whatever is left on our plate that we had hoped to complete before the end of the year. Allow me to motivate you through this great quote from Anthony Robbins, "When you are grateful fear disappears and abundance appears."  I wish you all abundance in the coming months. L'Shanah Tovah for those celebrating the holiday.

"Gratitude is the least of the virtues, but ingratitude is the worst of vices." Thomas Fuller 

Do What You Love..., Love What You Do

Tammy Saltzman - Wednesday, March 16, 2011
“If there is no passion in your life, then have you really lived? Find your passion, whatever it may be. Become it, and let it become you and you will find great things happen FOR you, TO you and BECAUSE of you."  - T. Alan Armstrong

Tip 61 is on Do What You Love..., Love What You Do. How many of us really get to do what we love every single day of our lives? One of my first secrets to success that I share with students is, "They should follow their own dreams not their parent's dreams." It amazes me how many adults that I meet that are looking for motivation and can't seem to find it becuase they really don't love what they're doing. How excited and motivated can any one person be if they are not passionate about their work or their projects in life. When there is passion there is motivation. Oprah Winfrey has said many times, "Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you." Think about that. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths and dream your biggest dreams. If you could be doing anything you wanted to do what would it be?  Here is a great quote from Julia Cameron, "What we really want to do is what we are really meant to do. When we do what we are meant to do, money comes to us, doors open for us, we feel useful, and the work we do feels like play to us."

Do you know the answer to the question? Are you in touch with your dreams? What was it you wanted to be when you were young? For me, I always wanted to be a lawyer or the President of the United States of America. For me it was never a teacher or a nurse like many young girls yearn to be. I love this anonymous quote, "Above all, be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it." Your ultimate dream may take time and may take patience. I did not go to school to get my undergraduate degree until I was 26 years old. It took me 8 long years of full-time employment and part-time schooling, then 3 years of law school. It took an very long time, but time passed and eventually my dream came to fruition. I practiced real estate law for 9 years and then started coaching other lawyers on how to build their book of business. My goals transformed into a dream of speaking and training and coaching.  My dream is still getting refined because what I love more than anything is speaking to students. How cool is that to be so sure of what it is that makes you happy that makes you feel "used up" as George Bernard Shaw would tell us. Be careful, this quote by Walter Chrysler says it all, "I feel sorry for the person who can't get genuinely excited about his work. Not only will be never be satisfied, but he will never achieve anything worthwhile."

The feeling one gets from doing what they love is euphoric. Packed with chills, goose bumps and what I refer to as the "work orgasm." There is no motivation needed when you really love what you do. Mondays are exciting and full of new possibilities. TGIF means "Thank God I Feel" - and I will rest so that I can be productive again on Monday. When we do what we love we are always telling others about what we do and sharing our joy and our passion. We try to recruit everyone and want everyone to be as content as we are. WOW!!! Earl Nightingale said it best, "The more intensely we feel about an idea or a goal, the more assuredly the idea, buried deep in our subconscious, will direct us along the path to its fulfillment." I will remind you again, "this is not a dress rehearsal." Stop waiting for the kids to leave or your husband to retire to go back to school or to begin a new career. You are never too old and it is never too late.

It is a life sentence to go to a job everyday that does not bring you joy. I am not saying that you should go out and quit your job, but sit down and mastermind a plan for yourself. If you need help speak with a mentor or significant other to see what would need to happen to have your dream come true. I am always available for coaching sessions as well. Here is another great anonymous quote, "Many things will catch your eye, but only a few will catch your heart... PURSUE THOSE."  Let me give you a perfect example.  I was getting my nails done last Friday and the nail technician, Erica, was complaining about how much she disliked her jobs. She works full time for a restaraunt in their catering department and then 2 days doing nails. Neither job is her dream job so they both seems like chores to her. There is no passion and no joy. I asked her if she could do anything she wanted what would that be. She did not even think about it before she blurted out she would do something in animal rescue. When she described her dream job her whole demeanor changed. She got this huge smile on her face, her eyes lit up, she sat up straight and she was so excited. I encouraged her to look into her dream. Do work on Sunday doing animal rescue to get some experience. Get on the dog rescue lists of persons willing to take in animals. She may not be able to quit her other jobs right away, but perhaps down the road she can come up with an exit strategy. Confucius once said, "Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life."

“Dont' ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive." - Howard Thurman   

Consideration

Tammy Saltzman - Tuesday, February 08, 2011

“Your greatness is measured by your kindness; your education and intellect by your modesty; your ignorance is betrayed by your suspicions and prejudices, and your real caliber is measured by the consideration and tolerance you have for others." - William J. H. Boetcker

Tip 57 is on Consideration. The word consideration can be used in a multitude of ways. Webster's New World College Dictionary defines the word consideration as follows: "the act of considering; careful thought or attention; deliberation; thoughful or sympathetic regard for others; something that is, or should be considered; a thought or opinion produced by consideration; regard, esteem, importance; a recompense, as for services rendered, fee, compensation; something of value given in exchange for something of value given or done by another, inducement for a contract." WOW!!! For purposes of this Tip we are going to focus on consideration of others - more specifically, thoughful or sympathetic regard for others.

So are you someone who is considerate of others? In order to be considerate of others we must be thoughtful of another or be able to sympathize with them. Didn't Confucius once say, "Do not judge me until you walk a mile in my shoes."? When I became a full time step mother and someone from the outside would criticize me, especially the in-laws, I would say, you try raising 3 children who don't belong to you and see how easy it is. People can easily cast stones or pass judgment without first being empathetic and considerate of the person they are judging. I am a firm believe in trying to really imagine what it would be like to be in that person's shoes - how would I react to their circumstances, how would I communicate and what would I say? Confucius also said, "Consideration for others is the basic of a good life, a good society."

Consideration is very important in business. Owners of companies always need to be considerate of their staff as well as considerate of their vendors.  Let's also not forget how important it is to be considerate of the patrons that bring income to the business. I am sure if you are a business owner you have heard the saying, "The customer is always right." That sounds like red carpet consideration or said a different way, conderation at its finest. Even when we are faced with an unhappy client sometimes all it takes is a little consideration of the client's woes and they immediately feel appreciated. We all want to feel appreciated and when we are considerate of others they cannot help but feel appreciated. I have always found that instead of asking someone to do something for me it always sounded better asking someone for help to do something. When your staff see that you too are willing to pitch in and help they are much more likely to fully participate and embrace the team spirit.  Margaret Chase Smith said,"Every human being is entitled to courtesy and consideration. Constructive criticism is not only to be expected but sought."

Sometimes we form strong opinions and stand strong in our positions. Consideration of others sometimes means hearing other peoples' opinions and trying them on, like a sweater, before completely dismissing their point of view. I am someone who is very strong in their opinions and I can often bump heads with someone who is also strong in their opposing position.  We can argue till the cows fly over the moon and it doesn't mean that I am right and they are wrong.  It also does not mean that I am wrong and they are right.  All it means is that we have opposing views and we are each entitled to our own beliefs. We can agree to disagree. Better yet, how about agreeing to sleep on it for a day or too.  Perhaps a little more research is needed. Perhaps speaking to a few other people can help to clarify some issues. I love this quote by Benjamin Franklin, "For having lived long, I have experienced many instances of being obliged, by better information or fuller consideration, to change opinions, even on important subjects, which I once though right but found to be otherwise." So even sometimes, we may change our minds after careful consideration. Wow - how awesome is that.

Consideration in family relationships is always important too. Remember this quote by Bryant H. McGill, "Courteousness is consideration for others; politeness is the method used to deliver such considerations." Children must have consideration for their parents and parents need to have consideration for their children. Most important is in marriages - it is so very important to have consideration for your spouse. Failing to have consideration could destroy any marriage. So children must be taught to respect their parents, tell the truth, and follow the rules of the household. Parents worry and regardless of how old you are you are still your mother's baby. So remember to call your mom when she is sitting home waiting for you. Just a small little effort can make a mom feel appreciated because you are being considerate.  Same goes for parents and their children. Do not expose your children to things or people that are not good for them, tell your children the truth - they know when you are lying, be respective of their needs and wants so when your daughter invites you to the school dance know that it is really important to her. Consideration of a spouse is a must and I am sure that the happiest and longest marriages are built on mutual trust, respect and consideration.

When we go back and look at The Ten Commandments - they are basic human rules for a harmonious existence. Those commandments set out rules for everyone to follow so that the people of the world can co-exist together.  These ten simple rules are so basic that every single person can follow them if they so desire. Just imagine...., everyone on earth following the ten commandments, everyone living in harmony, everyone being considerate of each other. I love this quote by Dwight D. Eisenhower, "Though force can protect in emergency, only justice, fairness, consideration and cooperation can finally lead men to the dawn of eternal peace."

“A little Consideration, a little Thought for Others, makes all the difference." - Winnie the Pooh

Appreciation

Tammy Saltzman - Monday, January 31, 2011

“None of us got where we are solely by pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps.  We got here because somebody - a parent, a teacher, an Ivy League crony or a few nuns - bent down and helped us pick up our boots."- Thurgood Marshall

Tip 54 is on Appreciation. Specifically appreciation of other people in your life that really made a difference.  Many people come and go into our lives everyday, but every now and then we are moved by the acts of others. Look back and see who is it that really impacted your life in one way or the other. The impact could even be bad, but what we actually learned was good. Have we said "thank you" to the people that have made some lasting impression?  I started thinking about this as I prepared for the International Speech Contest tomorrow at Toastmasters.  I am doing my speech about my dad and all the lessons that I have learned from him and how much I appreciate all that I learned. I can't call my dad to say thank you, but I can honor his memory by keeping his name (Saltzman) and using all that I learned from him for good. I love this quote by John F. Kennedy, "As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them."

As I started to think about all my appreciation I have for my dad, I started realizing that in the last few days I have been very appreciative. My dear friend Monty invited me to one of his infamous wine dinners.  The food and wine was delicious, the company delightful, and a good time was had by all. Another dear friend Lisa set me up on a blind date Saturday night. The date happened to be one of the best blind dates I ever had, but regardless, I was so appreciative that she thought of me and passed my number along. I tried to express my appreciation by sending Monty an email the next morning and texting Lisa some of the details from my Saturday night date. Remember, Mark Kay Ash once said, "Everyone wants to be appreciated, so if you appreciate someone, don't keep it a secret." As far as love is concerned, Alexander Smith reminds us, "Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others, and the delight in the recognition." Hence, the great date with Adam.

You are always hearing me talk about how much I love my job and the firm that I work for, Ellis, Ged & Bodden, P.A. Yes, I am constantly appreciating my working situation, but it means nothing if I don't communicate it to the people I work for and the people I work with.  I am always telling my boss how much I love my job and how much fun I have every single day. I truly believe this quote by William James, "The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated." And if there is ever a time that you don't appreciate your job, please remember this quote by Oscar Wilde, "The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one." And if you are a business owner that happens to have great employees, remember they too want to be appreciated.  Sam Walton, founder of Walmart, really said it best, "Appreciate everything your associates do for the business. Nothing else can quite substitute for a few well-chosen, well timed, sincere words of praise.  They're absolutely free and worth a fortune."

So, as I was sitting here writing my Tip my son's tutor came in to provide me with the weekly progress report for Brandon.  Greg Yodowitz, like most teachers is under paid and under appreciated.  Teachers are responsible for our children's futures.  Teachers never get enough appreciation.  Mr. Yodowitz, we love you, thanks for making a difference in Brandon's education. Dan Rather said it best, "The dream begins with a teacher who believes in you, who tugs and pushes and leads you to the next plateau, sometime poking you with a sharp stick called truth."  So really, please act immediately to this anonymous quote, "If you can read this, go thank a teacher." If you live in the Boca Raton area and are looking for a good tutor see Mr. Yodowitz's contact information below.

“We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have." Fredierick Keonig