Tammy's Tips

Tip 51 is on Manifestation.  Some definitions of the word "manifest" from the Webster's New World College Dictionary are, "palpable, evident; to make clear, show plainly, reveal; to show itself." Sounds like magic, but it is as simple as this quote by Henry Ford, "Whether you think you can or can't you are right." I don't know about you, but I would much prefer to think I can all of the time.  I can create my own reality and I choose that reality to be one that revolves around the basic concept of "I can".

The first step in manifesting your dreams is to write them down. Once you commit your dreams to paper they become a real goal that you can now break down into steps necessary to achieving your dream. Remember this quote by Napoleon Hill, "Whatever your mind can conceive and can believe, it can achieve." What is it that you want to manifest in 2011. Even Pablo Picaso once said, "Everything you can imagine is real." Is it a new job, a new relationship, more income, or better health? Sit down and think of your dream situation and then commit it to paper.  Goals are really just dreams with a time line. Mark Victor Hansen said, "You control your future, your destiny. What you think about comes about. By recording your dreams and goals on paper, you set in motion the process of becoming the person you most want to be. Put your future in good hands - your own." If you really want to up the ante I recommend that you share your written dream with at least one person. I am a firm believer in the more people you tell the more chances for success. Another great thing about sharing your dreams is getting feedback from those that support you. Ignore the naysayers at all costs and fill your world with those who are there to offer positive feedback, suggestions, and key connections for helping you manifest your dreams.

Anything is possible. Wayne Dyer has said, "The power of intention is the power to manifest, to create, to live a life of unlimited abundance, and to attract into your life the right people at the right moments."  When I decided to go back to work I knew exactly the type of job I wanted. I decided I wanted to do marketing for a law firm, work from the house, work 25 hours a week, home by 3:00 so I could help my son with his homework, and work with a firm who had a stellar reputation. I knew exactly who to call, founding partner, Ronda Ellis, who was thrilled to have me on board. Not only did I get exactly what I wanted, I love what I am doing and love the people I work for at Ellis, Ged & Bodden, P.A. The power of intention is amazing if you truly believe that you are worthy to reap the rewards. This year I want to work on getting more paid speaking engagements, finalizing my divorce, and figure out a way to stay in my home. All things are possible if you believe them to be so. Carl Sandburg said, "Nothing happens but first a dream."

There will be obstacles in your path. There will be naysayers who tell you that you can't succeed, won't succeed, and the best one, you will never make any money doing that. Don't listen to those people. Most of them never believed they could reach their own dreams, so why should you be able to reach yours. James Allen said, "A man sooner or later discovers that he is the master-gardner of his soul, the director of his life." Don't let others rip away your dreams. If you are passionate about something, if it brings you great joy, then follow your true desires and miracles will happen. Watch out for past history playing a part in your future. You may have tried other things in the past that may not have worked out as you expected. Use those as learning experiences to succeed in the future, not as reasons to stop you from following a new dream. I love this quote by Eckhart Tolle,"The past has no power over the present moment."  Unless you try, one shall never know. It is better to try and fail that to never have tried at all.

I wish for you all that you wish for in 2011. 

Tip 49 is on Words of Encouragement.  This weeks tip starts and ends with a quote from Louisa May Alcott, a respected author who made a huge difference in my young life when I read Little Women.  When I speak to students one of the first things that I tell them as a key to their own success is to make sure that they are following their own dreams.  So often our own dreams are quashed by our parents, family and friends when we are told that what we are dreaming isn't realistic or will never earn us any income.  Webster's New World College Dictionary defines the word Encourage as "to give courage, hope or confidence to; to give support to; be favorable to; foster; help."  What a wonderful great thing it is to offer encouragement.  Christopher Reeves once said, "Once you choose hope, anything is possible."

I just returned from a visit with my family up north.  What a great Thanksgiving it was to spend time with my brothers and their beautiful and amazing children.  I am dedicating this Tip to my niece Ilana and my nephews Allen, Michael and Max.  I am so proud of those kids and I just loved to sit and listen to what they are dreaming for their future here on planet earth.  How great it is to even have a dream.  Imagine what life would be like if we didn't have any dreams for ourselves.  Theodore Roosevelt said, "Believe you can and you're halfway there." Most young adults thrive when they have a plan, a goal or a dream.  I have seen the lack of motivation in my own adult children when there is no plan and they have no dream.  It is really hard to get through the day unless there is something better that we can reach for.  Wherever it may take us and whatever it may be. This is a great quote by Henry David Thoreau, "If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours."

Tip 47 is on Multiple Streams of Income. Exactly what that means in today's society depends on what is is you are doing.  Many business people in this world are now realizing that how they earned their living in the past may not be able to support them moving forward.  It could be that you are currently getting divorced, your hours were cut back at work, or you were a realtor or mortgage broker and can no longer make the same kind of money you once made. It could even be that you just graduated from college and can't find a job in the field of your choice.  Whatever your reason many of us are now scrambling for multiple streams of income so that we can support ourselves and our families.  This anonymous quote says it all, "Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up.  It knows it must run faster than the fastest lion or it will be killed... every morning a lion wakes up.  It knows it must outrun the slowest gazelle or it will starve to death.  It doesn't matter whether you're a lion or a gazelle... when the sun comes up, you'd better be running."

The best example is always me - the queen of reinvention.  I've sold mens and boys clothing, beepers, sesame seeds, legal services, title services, speaking services and coaching services. One thing that carries through to every single opportunity is selling. I am always selling myself. The product is irrelevant.  So when the title business crashed in 2007 I closed my company and started a consulting firm to help train young attorneys how to build their book of business. I was so concerned that after 10 years in the title business it would be hard to start marketing myself as a trainer. The transition was easier than I thought. Everyone wanted to learn my secrets to success. From there came my own speaker platform and the beginning of TammySaltzman.com. When I got separated in January I decided to go back to work in a law firm so that I had steady income to help support my son. I was concerned about taking the job after marketing myself for 2 years as a speaker and trainer, but the transition went great and I love what I do.  I created my dream job working 25 hours a week and have a firm that supports me in growing my speaking career too.  Rich Devos once said, "The only thing that stands between a person and what they want from life is often the will to try it and the faith to believe it's possible." 

Many of the realtors I once knew from my title business have found themselves looking for new ways to earn income.  Some of them are now mortgage brokers in addition to realtors, some are working in the mall, some have started multi-level marketing opportunities while others have found full-time employment in completely different fields.  Does this mean they are no longer realtors?  Does this mean they are any less experienced as realtors?  I think not - to both questions.  They are looking for new opportunities and not just sitting around waiting for the market to recover.  I love this quote from Richard Branson, "Business opportunities are like buses, there's always another one coming."  (my grandmother used to say that about men!!) The statement is true - don't just sit around "waiting" for things to improve. Go out there and create new opportunities.

My daughter is another excellent example.  She just graduated from Florida State University with a degree in English and a minor in Education.  She dreams of being a High School English Teacher and eventually a High School Principal.  She graduated in August when most positions for teachers were already filled.  She signed up to be a substitute.  Took a part time job doing phone sales for a friend of mine and also got herself a job as a waitress here in town at a great restaurant that closes early and is always packed.  She just signed up to take her GRE with the goal of entering a local master's program.  She is one busy girl looking for opportunities every where she goes.  Wayne Dyer said, "There is no scarcity of opportunity to make a living at what you love; there's only scarcity of resolve to make it happen."  My daughter knows that she is not going to be a waitress for the rest of her life, but for now this is what she needs to do to make a living.  Needless to say, I am very proud of her.

Don't be afraid to broaden your horizons and take on something new.  You never know what the future will bring, who you may meet, or how much fun you can have trying something new.  It may take you a few tries to find a good fit, but if you trust your instincts and stay true to your own desires and passions you are sure to find opportunity where you least expect it. I wish you all good luck.  Remember this quote by Peter Drucker, "The entrepreneur always searches for change, responds to it, and exploits it as opportunity."

1. TRUST- trust is the foundation of every relationship. Without trust there is nothing that you can build a relationship on. You must be a trustworthy person and the person who you are contemplating a relationship must be trustworthy a well.  George MacDonald once said,"To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved." Trust is something you earn one day at a time.  It is not something that is just bestowed upon you because you are successful, attractive or smart.  Once the trust is broken it is like a vase; you may be able to put it back together but it will never be the same.  

2. INTEGRITY -  integrity is the foundation of who you are inside.  It is who you show up as in the world.  It is your personal moral compass.  In a relationship it is important to be able to count on the other person to do the right thing, say the right thing and always have your back.  Integrity means that you can be counted on to walk your talk, not play games and be honest about how you feel and what you need in the relationship.  I love this anonymous quote, "Having integrity is doing the right thing even when no one is watching."

3. PATIENCE - they say this is a virtue and I say it is a must.  It is very difficult to talk with someone who has no patience.  It is very difficult to work on a project together, pack for a vacation together, even getting to your destination together with a person who lacks patience. We need patience in our everyday lives to deal with our children, parents and the 80 year old driving on the road ahead of us.  I love this anonymous quote, "Patience is the ability to cool off before you blast off."

4. COMPASSION - having empathy and compassion for others if a delightful quality.  Most of the world is so self absorbed they have little compassion for even their own parents and siblings. Compassion is a feeling that comes from with in creating a desire to make a difference no matter how small in the life of another.  Even just listening is a skill.  My Uncle Les was telling me a story that he calls his 100 year old mother every week and from the minute she answers the phone for a good 20 minutes all she does is complain and complain and complain.  He listens patiently and compassionately and agrees that she many woes. He loves his mother and he calls her every week.  That is a perfect example of compassion.

5. COMMUNICATION - no one and I do mean no one likes the cold shoulder.  There is nothing more annoying than someone who sulks and when you ask them what's wrong they say "nothing". We need good communication skills so that we can properly articulate our own feelings and needs.  Another important part of good communication is the ability to really listen.  Not every problem needs to be solved at the moment, but sometimes just getting "stuff" off your chest is good enough.  Self awareness and trust in your own inner voice are needed in order for you to be a good communicator.  If you don't know how you feel or what you need communication will be quite difficult.  Also, how we communicate is important.  Anger and dirty fighting destroy good communication.  Here is a John Powell quote I like, "Communication works for those who work at it."

6. CONFIDENCE - a good relationship always starts with 2 secure people coming together to form one.  In order to have a healthy relationship one must start with even a small level of self confidence in who they are, what they have to offer and what makes them unique and special.  Confidence also allows for space in a relationship for each party to have their own interests, their own friends and their own time away from the core relationship.  Insecurities will eventually cause resentment and destroy even the healthiest of relationships.  Both people having confidence in a relationship usually sets the stage for a partnership, 2 equal people coming together, instead of a dictatorship.  When you exude confidence controlling people tend to steer clear.  Controlling people usually look for the needy insecure partners.  Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

7. AFFECTION - affection comes in all shapes and sizes.  This is truly up to each individual to decide for themselves how much affection do they like, how often etc.  Some people are always holding hands and kissing and hugging while others are not.  Neither choice is right or wrong, but it is important to know what it is you like and find someone who has similar desires.  Affection does not only mean sex it means many other things to many people.  Some of us thrive on affection and some of us do not. Pindar once said, "Every gift which is given, even though it be small, is in reality great, if it is given with affection."

Tip 19 is on Reaching Your Dreams.  Obviously, this is not as easy as it sounds.  If it were easy the world would be full of happy people all living their life purpose and content with what life brings them.  Most of us are not happy nor are we content with what we have.  To reach your dreams you will first have to identify what those dreams are, make the decision to pursue those dreams and be prepared to look for new paths when obstacles present themselves, which we all know that they will.

Identifying your dreams is the hard part.  When we were young our imaginations ran wild, we were free to pretend to be anything that we wanted to be.  I can remember as a child playing house with my girlfriends - I was never the the mother - I always wanted to be the father.  I was either an attorney or The President of the United States of America.  I had lofty dreams back then, but it is no mistake that I ended up going to law school to become an attorney.  I pursued that dream much later in life since I started college at 26 and it took 8 years to get my Bachelor's Degree.  I worked full time and went to school nights and weekends.  I kept going because I knew in 8 years I would either be 34 with a college degree or 34 without one.  I chose the former and boy did it take a long time and a lot of hard work.  I finished law school at 37 - finally, and became a licensed Florida attorney.  The point I am making is that it is never too late to go after your dreams and with a lot of hard work and determination anything is possible.  What did you want to be when you grew up?

Sometimes our dreams change.  Sometimes we find that we pursued someone else's dream - like a parent or a spouse and we are not happy with the choices that we made.  Sometimes we find that the rug is pulled out from under us - like we lose our job or our spouse wants a divorce.  The loss of a job is what motivated me to go to college to get my degree.  I am now pursing a career in professional speaking because if brings me so much pleasure and I I've been told time and time again that I really make a difference in the lives of others.  When you discover a new dream later in life go for it.  It's never too late to pursue your dreams as long as you believe in your abilities and have the courage to persevere.  Life takes many twists and turns and there will be many times when we will need to take adversity in stride.  Remember, "When one door closes another one will open."

Many of us have talents, some even have hidden talents.  What are they for you?  My sister-in-law,  a licensed psychologist, has a passion for writing.  She committed herself to write a short childrens' story. She even enrolled in a writing group in pursuit of her dream. She has been working on this for a very long time and she is committed.  When she talks about her writing her whole demeanor changes.  Her face lights up and she gets so excited!! This is the stuff that dreams are made of!! Some of us are good at sales - some of us are good at numbers - what ever it is that you are good at or that gets you excited - that is a good place to start.  I have heard it said many times, "Do what you love and money will follow."  When you are passionate about something and truly committed to the success it is inevitable that you will find that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow!!  I wish you all good luck in finding your passions.

“If one advances confidently of their dreams and endeavors to live the life they've imagined, they will meet success unexpected in common hours. " - David Thoreau