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Thank you Tammy for sharing the secrets of your success in business and relationship building. You have truly inspired me to take my business to the next level!

- Dick Sundel, Full Service House Sitting LLC

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Tammy's Tips

Do What You Love..., Love What You Do

Tammy Saltzman - Wednesday, March 16, 2011
“If there is no passion in your life, then have you really lived? Find your passion, whatever it may be. Become it, and let it become you and you will find great things happen FOR you, TO you and BECAUSE of you."  - T. Alan Armstrong

Tip 61 is on Do What You Love..., Love What You Do. How many of us really get to do what we love every single day of our lives? One of my first secrets to success that I share with students is, "They should follow their own dreams not their parent's dreams." It amazes me how many adults that I meet that are looking for motivation and can't seem to find it becuase they really don't love what they're doing. How excited and motivated can any one person be if they are not passionate about their work or their projects in life. When there is passion there is motivation. Oprah Winfrey has said many times, "Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you." Think about that. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths and dream your biggest dreams. If you could be doing anything you wanted to do what would it be?  Here is a great quote from Julia Cameron, "What we really want to do is what we are really meant to do. When we do what we are meant to do, money comes to us, doors open for us, we feel useful, and the work we do feels like play to us."

Do you know the answer to the question? Are you in touch with your dreams? What was it you wanted to be when you were young? For me, I always wanted to be a lawyer or the President of the United States of America. For me it was never a teacher or a nurse like many young girls yearn to be. I love this anonymous quote, "Above all, be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it." Your ultimate dream may take time and may take patience. I did not go to school to get my undergraduate degree until I was 26 years old. It took me 8 long years of full-time employment and part-time schooling, then 3 years of law school. It took an very long time, but time passed and eventually my dream came to fruition. I practiced real estate law for 9 years and then started coaching other lawyers on how to build their book of business. My goals transformed into a dream of speaking and training and coaching.  My dream is still getting refined because what I love more than anything is speaking to students. How cool is that to be so sure of what it is that makes you happy that makes you feel "used up" as George Bernard Shaw would tell us. Be careful, this quote by Walter Chrysler says it all, "I feel sorry for the person who can't get genuinely excited about his work. Not only will be never be satisfied, but he will never achieve anything worthwhile."

The feeling one gets from doing what they love is euphoric. Packed with chills, goose bumps and what I refer to as the "work orgasm." There is no motivation needed when you really love what you do. Mondays are exciting and full of new possibilities. TGIF means "Thank God I Feel" - and I will rest so that I can be productive again on Monday. When we do what we love we are always telling others about what we do and sharing our joy and our passion. We try to recruit everyone and want everyone to be as content as we are. WOW!!! Earl Nightingale said it best, "The more intensely we feel about an idea or a goal, the more assuredly the idea, buried deep in our subconscious, will direct us along the path to its fulfillment." I will remind you again, "this is not a dress rehearsal." Stop waiting for the kids to leave or your husband to retire to go back to school or to begin a new career. You are never too old and it is never too late.

It is a life sentence to go to a job everyday that does not bring you joy. I am not saying that you should go out and quit your job, but sit down and mastermind a plan for yourself. If you need help speak with a mentor or significant other to see what would need to happen to have your dream come true. I am always available for coaching sessions as well. Here is another great anonymous quote, "Many things will catch your eye, but only a few will catch your heart... PURSUE THOSE."  Let me give you a perfect example.  I was getting my nails done last Friday and the nail technician, Erica, was complaining about how much she disliked her jobs. She works full time for a restaraunt in their catering department and then 2 days doing nails. Neither job is her dream job so they both seems like chores to her. There is no passion and no joy. I asked her if she could do anything she wanted what would that be. She did not even think about it before she blurted out she would do something in animal rescue. When she described her dream job her whole demeanor changed. She got this huge smile on her face, her eyes lit up, she sat up straight and she was so excited. I encouraged her to look into her dream. Do work on Sunday doing animal rescue to get some experience. Get on the dog rescue lists of persons willing to take in animals. She may not be able to quit her other jobs right away, but perhaps down the road she can come up with an exit strategy. Confucius once said, "Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life."

“Dont' ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive." - Howard Thurman   
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Guerrilla Goal Getting

Tammy Saltzman - Wednesday, March 09, 2011

“The world has a habit of making room for the person whose words and actions show that they know where they're going." - Napoleon Hill

Tip 61 is on Guerrilla Goal Getting. Guerrilla Goal Getting is a concept and subsequent workshop that I created that has turned into a huge success. Think about the word Guerrilla and the definition from my favorite dictionary, Webster's New World College Dictionary, "warfare carried on by guerrillas; any member of a small defensive force of irregular soldiers, usually volunteers, making surprise raids especially behind the lines of an invading enemy army; of or by guerrillas, characteristic of guerrillas; undercover, clandestine or radical, subversive."  I just love this definition and I think that many of you would agree that sometimes it might take some Guerrilla action to get things accomplished - to actually reach our goals - to ultimately achieve our dreams. WOW!!! Mark Twain once said, "The miracle, or the power, that elevates the few is found in their perseverance under the prompting of a brave, determined spirit."

So, Guerrilla Goal Getting is a group of focused, determined and committed participants whose purpose is to set goals, communicate those goals to the other participants (Guerrillas), and devise a plan with the help of the group to achieve those goals. Now read the quote again from above, "The world has a habit of making room for the person whose words and actions show that they know where they're going." That quote is worth repeating twice because I am a firm believer that if you speak a new reality you will manifest a new reality. As soon as you can get clear on what your goal is and communicate that goal to others the world starts to shift and provide for you what you need to make that goal a reality. Lawrence J. Peter once said, "If you don't know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else." The power of Guerrilla Goal Getting starts with writing down your goals, but then continues with the ability to communicate those goals to others who are totally committed to having you achieve your goals. You now have a team or an army or board members who are there to help you reach your goals.

The Guerrilla Goal Getting group meets once per week to talk about their goals. They will report their progress and admit their defeats. The group will then brainstorm and mastermind together to come up with ideas, suggestions, and solutions to overcoming obstacles, dealing with setbacks, resolving issues that may never have gotten resolved if not for the team of Guerrillas. I love this quote by Henry Ford, "Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal." Obstacles are always less scary when you have a team of people committed to helping you overcome that obstacle. The group was not started to be a referral group, but it amazes me how many referrals actually get passed on a weekly basis. The support from the members of the group is astounding - we all support each others' charities, business functions and speaking engagements. We all helped Toby win the Delray Beach Chamber weight loss contest, we all attended the ballet when Chim invited us, and when Leslie and Sue did a talk at the library we all were there to offer our support. Love this quote by Oliver North, "Our purpose is not to complain about the steepness of the climb, but to help each other on the way that is often difficult and sometimes perilous, And in the end, all that we do should not be done to glorify ourselves, but to serve others."

So how are you doing with your goals for 2011? At the end of last year did you look to see what you wanted to accomplish for the new year? Do you have a goal in mind that you are hoping to achieve? Diana S. Hunt reminds us that, "Goals are dreams with deadlines." And Larry Elder reminds us, "A goal without a plan is just a wish." The end of the first quarter is coming on March 31. This is a great time to evaluate your progress and perhaps reshape your plan if necessary. Setting goals is one of the best things that you can do for yourself. Successful people do not just arrive - they have worked long and hard in the past to get to where they are today. I love this quote by Beverly Sills, "There are no shortcuts to any place worth going."  Remember, this is not a dress rehearsal. This is your life and no one is going to knock on your door and hand you your dream on a silver platter.  Each and every one of us is responsible for reaching our own goals and achieving our own dreams. The time is now.

I am attaching an annual goal planning sheet for your to get started with (CLICK HERE). Each one of your goals should have its own personal action plan. Please feel free to call and schedule a one hour coaching session if you need help of any kind. Because I am so committed to having all of you achieve your dreams, for Goal Setting purposes only I am offering my coaching at half price !!!! Only $175.00 per hour if you need my assistance to creating a plan to have your dreams come true. Please feel free to call the toll free number listed at the top of this email. The time is now, as Anthony Robbins said, "How am I going to live today in order to create the tomorrow I'm committed to?" Let me help you set up a plan for today so you can make your dreams a reality. Take a minute to think about what it is that you want to accomplish this year. Another way of looking at it is - close your eyes, take a few deep breathes, think about if you could do anything that you dreamed of doing what would that be? T.S. Eliot said this best, "Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go."  My own personal dream is to reach out to students of all ages. This is what I am passionate about. I want to take my Keynote: 10 Achievement Attributes for Success in College and Beyond into the college and university market and speak to students and parents at Orientation and Career Day activities. So the question becomes, what is it I need to do to make this happen? My dream will never become a reality unless I start to speak my dream to others and come up with an action plan to make it happen.

Be prepared to hit roadblocks, obstacles and adversities. It is not "if" they happen, but "when" they happen. I promise you success is not always easy. We only hear about people and businesses once they actually become successful. The road to success is long and bumpy and it is only the strong, the survivors, and the heroines who come back from defeat time after time to follow their dream and persevere. Jack Penn once said, "One of the secrets of life is to make stepping stones out of stumbling blocks." This is the power of the Guerrilla Goal Getting group. Please contact me if you are interested in joining a Guerrilla Goal Getting group here in South Florida. There are 2 groups up and running and another 2 in formation. If you want to start a group in your area please contact me for more information on how to get started. I will provide the manuals and the roadmap for starting and maintaining a successful group in your area.

“Our goals can only be reached through a vehicle of a plan, in which we must fervently believe, and upon which we must vigorously act. There is no other route to success." - Vincent van Gogh

 

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The Power of Intention

Tammy Saltzman - Tuesday, February 15, 2011
“The winners in life think constantly in terms of I can, I will, and I am.  Losers, on the other hand, concentrate their waking thoughts on what they should have or would have done, or what they can't do." - Denis Waitley 

Tip 56 is on The Power of Intention.  This is by far one of my favorite topics because I truly am a firm believer in something my mom once told me, she said, "Tammy if you can think it than you can do it."  What an incredible adventure life becomes when you believe that all things are possible and that you are capable of achieving all of your dreams if you just set your mind to do so.  I love the power of positive affirmations and practice the daily ritual of keeping pleasant notes around my home and in my car reminding me of all things possible. Some of my favorites: "Things always work out for me, " "I have abundance mentality," "G-d will always provide for me and my family," "Let go and let g-d." Think about the things that you say every single day to yourself.  Are they good positive reminders of all things possible or are they negative? Are you someone who looks at the glass half full or half empty? Do you believe in miracles? These are great thought provoking questions to really get you thinking. Wayne Dyer has often said, "The state of your life is nothing more than a reflection of your state of mind."

When I started looking for a job last year I had in mind the exact job that I wanted to create. I wanted to work 25 hours a week so that I could be home everyday at 3:00 pm for my son. I wanted to work from home and wanted the support of my employers for my speaking and coaching business. I wanted certain expenses covered - I had really outlined almost everything even prior to making one phone call. I called Ronda Ellis, Esquire and the rest is history. My power of intention was so strong that I created my dream job, with my dream employer, Ellis, Ged & Bodden, P.A. working with the greatest people and happy every single day. Another great Wayne Dyer quote, "Happiness is something that you are, and it comes from the way you think." Only I know what will make me happy, only I know what my true desires are. James Allen said it best, "A man sooner or later discovers that he is the master-gardener of his soul, the director of his life."

We must all have a master plan, goals to reach and dreams we hope one day to achieve. Only you know in your heart the road you should take or they path you should follow. I love this quote by Mark Victor Hansen, "You control your future, your destiny. What you think about comes about. By recording your dreams and goals on paper, you set in motion the process of becoming the person you most want to be. Put your future in good hands - your own." Don't let life just happen to you - make it happen.  This is not a dress rehearsal. Writing down your goals could perhaps be the one greatest gift you could give yourself.  The second would be sharing your goals with at least one committed listener who supports you and what you hope to achieve. Johann Wolfgang von Gothe said it best, "The moment one definitely commits oneself, the providence moves too. All sort of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred...unforeseen incidents, meeting, and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way."  The power of intention is a force to be reckoned with and all things are possible if we desire them to be possible.

Whether it is business or personal goals you hope to achieve Napoleon Hill tells us, "Hold a picture of yourself long and steadily enough in your mind's eye, and you will be drawn to it." Since my separation I have been saying that there was someone out there looking for me. I knew that all I had to do was wait and be patient. I knew in my heart that he would find me if I believed that he would. When I least expected it, my girlfriend Lisa called to fix me up with Adam. Deepak Chopra said it best, "Intentions compressed into words enfold magical power."  I am a firm believer in magical power and things happening for a reason. Who knows if my thoughts are what attracted Adam into my life or not, but why not believe. Wayne Dyer has taught us, "The power of intention is the power to manifest, to create, to live a life of unlimited abundance, and to attract into your life the right people at the right moments."  My dear friend Adiel would confirm, all she had to do was whisper her intention to find gainful employment and everyone she loves rallied around her to help her, guide her, and support her intentions. Sometime all it takes is a whisper - G-d is always listening even when it's just a whisper.

"Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen hard. Practice wellness. Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regret. Appreciate your friends. Continue to learn. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is."  - Mary Anne Radmacher
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Consideration

Tammy Saltzman - Tuesday, February 08, 2011

“Your greatness is measured by your kindness; your education and intellect by your modesty; your ignorance is betrayed by your suspicions and prejudices, and your real caliber is measured by the consideration and tolerance you have for others." - William J. H. Boetcker

Tip 57 is on Consideration. The word consideration can be used in a multitude of ways. Webster's New World College Dictionary defines the word consideration as follows: "the act of considering; careful thought or attention; deliberation; thoughful or sympathetic regard for others; something that is, or should be considered; a thought or opinion produced by consideration; regard, esteem, importance; a recompense, as for services rendered, fee, compensation; something of value given in exchange for something of value given or done by another, inducement for a contract." WOW!!! For purposes of this Tip we are going to focus on consideration of others - more specifically, thoughful or sympathetic regard for others.

So are you someone who is considerate of others? In order to be considerate of others we must be thoughtful of another or be able to sympathize with them. Didn't Confucius once say, "Do not judge me until you walk a mile in my shoes."? When I became a full time step mother and someone from the outside would criticize me, especially the in-laws, I would say, you try raising 3 children who don't belong to you and see how easy it is. People can easily cast stones or pass judgment without first being empathetic and considerate of the person they are judging. I am a firm believe in trying to really imagine what it would be like to be in that person's shoes - how would I react to their circumstances, how would I communicate and what would I say? Confucius also said, "Consideration for others is the basic of a good life, a good society."

Consideration is very important in business. Owners of companies always need to be considerate of their staff as well as considerate of their vendors.  Let's also not forget how important it is to be considerate of the patrons that bring income to the business. I am sure if you are a business owner you have heard the saying, "The customer is always right." That sounds like red carpet consideration or said a different way, conderation at its finest. Even when we are faced with an unhappy client sometimes all it takes is a little consideration of the client's woes and they immediately feel appreciated. We all want to feel appreciated and when we are considerate of others they cannot help but feel appreciated. I have always found that instead of asking someone to do something for me it always sounded better asking someone for help to do something. When your staff see that you too are willing to pitch in and help they are much more likely to fully participate and embrace the team spirit.  Margaret Chase Smith said,"Every human being is entitled to courtesy and consideration. Constructive criticism is not only to be expected but sought."

Sometimes we form strong opinions and stand strong in our positions. Consideration of others sometimes means hearing other peoples' opinions and trying them on, like a sweater, before completely dismissing their point of view. I am someone who is very strong in their opinions and I can often bump heads with someone who is also strong in their opposing position.  We can argue till the cows fly over the moon and it doesn't mean that I am right and they are wrong.  It also does not mean that I am wrong and they are right.  All it means is that we have opposing views and we are each entitled to our own beliefs. We can agree to disagree. Better yet, how about agreeing to sleep on it for a day or too.  Perhaps a little more research is needed. Perhaps speaking to a few other people can help to clarify some issues. I love this quote by Benjamin Franklin, "For having lived long, I have experienced many instances of being obliged, by better information or fuller consideration, to change opinions, even on important subjects, which I once though right but found to be otherwise." So even sometimes, we may change our minds after careful consideration. Wow - how awesome is that.

Consideration in family relationships is always important too. Remember this quote by Bryant H. McGill, "Courteousness is consideration for others; politeness is the method used to deliver such considerations." Children must have consideration for their parents and parents need to have consideration for their children. Most important is in marriages - it is so very important to have consideration for your spouse. Failing to have consideration could destroy any marriage. So children must be taught to respect their parents, tell the truth, and follow the rules of the household. Parents worry and regardless of how old you are you are still your mother's baby. So remember to call your mom when she is sitting home waiting for you. Just a small little effort can make a mom feel appreciated because you are being considerate.  Same goes for parents and their children. Do not expose your children to things or people that are not good for them, tell your children the truth - they know when you are lying, be respective of their needs and wants so when your daughter invites you to the school dance know that it is really important to her. Consideration of a spouse is a must and I am sure that the happiest and longest marriages are built on mutual trust, respect and consideration.

When we go back and look at The Ten Commandments - they are basic human rules for a harmonious existence. Those commandments set out rules for everyone to follow so that the people of the world can co-exist together.  These ten simple rules are so basic that every single person can follow them if they so desire. Just imagine...., everyone on earth following the ten commandments, everyone living in harmony, everyone being considerate of each other. I love this quote by Dwight D. Eisenhower, "Though force can protect in emergency, only justice, fairness, consideration and cooperation can finally lead men to the dawn of eternal peace."

“A little Consideration, a little Thought for Others, makes all the difference." - Winnie the Pooh
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Being Careful

Tammy Saltzman - Tuesday, February 01, 2011
“Be careful what you water your dreams with.  Water them with worry and fear and you will produce weeds that choke the life from your dream. Water them with optimism and solutions and you will cultivate success. Always be on the lookout for ways to nuture your dreams." - Lao Tzu

Tip 56 is on Being Careful. Are you someone who tends to be careful and cautious or are you someone that jumps in with both feet and throws caution to the wind?  There is a good arguement for both perspectives.  Webster's New World College Dictionary defines the word careful as follows, "acting or working in a thoughtful, painstaking way; cautious, wary, or guarded."  And the word carefree as, "free from troubles or worry." I do believe that there is a time to be careful and a time to be carefree. Feeling carefree is a gift that we should all enjoy whenever we can and it is usually a reward that we get from being careful. Ben Franklin once said, "Distrust and caution are the parents of security." It is only when we feels most secure that we can throw caution to the wind and enjoy a carefree moment.

As a lawyer it is really my job to look for all the things that can go wrong. It is our job as attorneys to let our clients know what is their worst case scenario. We are trained to look at the upside and weight it against the downside. It is our job to make sure that the client knows the worst possible outcome of each decision they make so that they can make an educated decision. I try hard not to be this pessimistic in my real world, but when a client pays you to play the devils advocate it is our ethical responsibility to perform. Ralph Waldo Emerson will remind us, "A man is usually more careful of his money that he is of his principles."

In business we are always cautious.  Buying businesses, taking in partners, hiring employees, and securing vendors. It's a risky business out there and checking out the reputation of the people we do business with makes perfect sense. With today's technology everyone's information is just a click away on Google. The Better Business Buereau and Daily Business Review have all their records available on line. Court records and deeds are all public documents that are now available on line at most court houses throughout the United States. When is comes to financial matters we need to be as careful as possible. Not only do we consult our lawyers, but we now consult our CPA's, financial planners, and our estate planners. Unfortunately, no matter how careful we are are many of life's lessons end up costing us money. Do your best to try and learn the expensive lessons from the mistakes of others. Remember this by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, "Every step of life shows much caution is required." I think that is another way of saying the older we get the more jaded we become.

As a parent I am always cautioning my children to be careful. We start when they are very young. Don't touch the stove, look both ways when you cross.  Be careful!! We are worried for our children and don't want them to get hurt. Even as adults our parents are worried and still tell us to be careful. Adam's mom Joan just told him to be careful when he told her all about me this past week. I have heard the same advice as well from my well meaning friends and family. Joan doesn't know me and my friends don't know Adam, but everyone says the same thing, "We are so happy for you. Go slow, be careful." When it comes to matters of the heart it is so much harder to be careful. The excitement and the hope take over and just sweep you off your feet.  Aren't we all looking for ever lasting love?? Bertrand Russell once said, "Of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness." Yet e.e.cummings reminds us, "Be of love a little more careful than of anything." I would like to think that what he meant was that once you find love be careful with it, preserve it and cherish it so that you don't lose it. Sorry Joan, it's too late - if it doesn't work out it will probably hurt, but if it does work out - G-d bless and thank you Lisa.

“It is better to err on the side of daring than the side of caution." - Alvin  Toffler 
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Honesty

Tammy Saltzman - Monday, January 24, 2011

“We tell lies when we are afraid...afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us.  But every time we tell a lie, the thing that we fear grows stronger." _ Tad Williams

Tip 54 is on Honesty. My favorite, Webster's New World College Dictionary defines the word honesty as, "the state or quality of being honest; a refraining from lying, cheating or stealing; a being truthful, trustworthy, or upright; sincereity, fairness, straightforwardness." Are you someone who always tells the truth? Or are you someone who tells white lies? Are you someone that justifies telling little white lies to save someone's feelings? Take a good long look at what others would say about you.  Are you someone who can be trusted or not?  That is a huge question!!! The answer means everything and says everything about your reputation out there in the real world.  I am brutely honest to a fault. This proverb totally describes me, "If you truly want honesty, don't ask the questions you don't really want the answers to." Yes, sometimes the truth does hurt, but I would much rather cause a small hurt by telling the truth then causing a huge ongoing hurt because I lied.

This anonymous quote says it all, "Once a liar, always a liar." Once someone lies to you, how could you ever ever ever trust them again. Every single time they say anything to you after they are caught lying, you can't help but wonder if they are lying again. My mom used to always say, "It takes a lifetime to build a good reputation and 15 seconds to destroy it." It is in those 15 seconds that you decide to tell a lie instead of telling the truth. Most of the time when we lie it is because it is easier, or so we think, to tell the lie. So instead of saying, I'm tired tonight and not in the mood to go out to dinner - we say sorry my kid is sick. I am not sure why some of us think it is easier to lie because now days later when you speak with that friend you need to remember that you told them the kid was sick and the lying continues when they ask you how your kid is feeling. I love this Spencer Johnson quote, "Integrity is telling myself the truth. And honesty is telling the truth to other people." Integrity also means not looking for loopholes to justify your lies.

Many years ago when I took the original EST Training, I was 15 years old, and I decided right there and then to never ever tell a lie again. I decided that I wanted to be someone who others could trust. I wanted to have a reputation of honor and integrity. William Shakespeare said it best, "Honest is the best policy. If I lose mine honor, I lose myself." It is so much easier to just tell the truth and deal with the ramifications at the time. It takes so much more effort to lie. Here is another great quote, this time by Mark Twain, "If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything."

White lies never hurt anyone..., How many times have you heard that. It might not hurt the person you are lying to, but it definitely hurts you.  You become known as someone who doesn't tell the truth.  You are someone who tells white lies. I love this quote by Austin O'Malley, "Those who think it is permissible to tell white lies soon grow color blind." We make excuses for our small white lies and justify our actions by saying we are saving another person's feelings.  Remember this yiddish proverb, "A half truth is a whole lie." It is never easier to just tell a small white lie.

We have all heard this quote before, "Actions speak louder than words." How about, "Children learn from example."  Think about this.  Your children will grow up and emulate you as best as they can. How do you want your children to view you? They know the truth - they are always an earshot away.  They know in their hearts whether you are a parent who tells the truth or not. Think about this quote from Roy L. Smith, "We are apt to forget that children watch examples better that they listen to preaching." And here is another great quote to remember from Clarence Businton Kelland, "My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it."  Keep this in mind next time you are on the phone or at a store or you have company over and your children are there to watch, to hear and to learn from your example. Be the kind of parent that sets a good example for your children.  Teach them to tell the truth! Always remember this quote by William Shakespeare, "No legacy is so rich as honesty."
 

“To be persuasive we must be believable; to be believable we must be credible; to be credible we must be truthful." - Edward R. Murrow
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Burning Bridges

Tammy Saltzman - Tuesday, January 11, 2011

“People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges." -Anonymous
"He who burns his bridges better be a damn good swimmer." - Proverb

Tip 53 is on Burning Bridges.  To burn or not to burn is the question?  Are you someone who burns bridges or you someone who never burns a bridge.  I am sure that we have already talked about this topic once before, but we can all think about this topic again. For me, I am a firm believer in never burning bridges. I have come to learn in my life that you just never know when you might need to cross that bridge again and if you burn it you can never go back. Of course, there are always circumstances that might warrant such drastic action, but those are far and few.

So, why burn the bridge in the first place? There could be many reasons to burn a bridge, but we should exam the reasons.  Make a list of all the people in your life that you have cut off - never to be spoken to again. Jot a note beside each name to see why you have decided to burn that bridge. If someone wronged you: slept with your spouse, stole money from your accounts, etc., you are justified. "If you hurt me once shame on you, but if you hurt me twice shame on me." We can cut those people out that lie, cheat and steal.  Who needs their bad karma around us? You can also eliminate people who treat others with no respect.  I once had a friend that I met through another couple.  We would go out together as couples for dinner. Every single time we went out this friend would be nasty to the restaraunt personnel, rude to the valet and then spend most of the night emasculating her husband. FInally, after about 5-6 dinners with this couple I refused to go out with them anymore. Believe it or not when she asked why I told her the truth.

A lot of times we burn bridges because we don't get our way and we get angry.  Elliott Larson said it best, "Anger always comes from frustrated expectations." Hearing the word "no" can really set a lot of people off and then we say or do things out of anger that has the potential to burn the bridge even if it's not what we intended. This often happens with the people we love most - like our children. This past week one of my children was finally moving out and getting his own place.  He is 21 years old and when his dad and I got married he was 9 and he and his siblings came to live with me. This past year he has been living with me even though his dad has not. When I asked him to move out because things were not really working out for me he got angry and told me I am not his mother, never will be his mother, and never ever to call him again. He is lucky I love him unconditionally or I may have allowed him to burn that bridge. Unfortunately, he took advantage and didn't really appreciate the opportunity I provided living home with me. He felt entitled. I love this quote by Marian Wright Edelman, "Don't feel entitled to anything you didn't sweat and struggle for." And here is a great quote from William James, "The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated." Regardless, be careful of cutting people of your life just because you couldn't get your way.

Sometimes we burn bridges in business. The most common mistake is burning a relationship with one of our customers. Trust me when I tell you there is no amount of money in the world that you could pay to counteract bad press from even one other person out there carrying a vendetta. The price you would need to pay to make the customer happy and satisfied is so much less than the damage one unhappy customer is capable of doing. Always, always, always try to go the extra mile to satifisy even the most difficult of customers. Sometimes it's not fair and the customer is not right, but it is so much better to have a happy customer than to have an unhappy one. In business, the customer is always, always, always right. Remember this quote by Dennis Wholey, "Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting a bull not to attack you because you are a vegitarian." Life isn't always fair and sometimes we need to come out of pocket to make someone happy.

“Maturity is: The ability to stock with a job until it's finished; The abilility to do a job without being supervised; The ability to carry money without spending it; and The ability to bear an injustice without wanting to get even." - Abigail Van Buren
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Happy Happy Joy Joy

Tammy Saltzman - Tuesday, December 28, 2010

“Joy lies in the fight, in the attempt, in the suffering invovled, not in the victory itself." - Mahatma Gandi

Tip 52 is on Happy Happy Joy Joy!!!  Tis the season to be joyful and what a great quote to start this tip with.  This is the time of year we are usually setting our new goals for the next year and making resolutions.  I recommend that you all take some time to look back over the past year and look for the Happy Happy Joy Joy that you all experienced. Look at all of your accomplishments, all the new connections you made and friendships that you formed.  Look at all the things that others did for you this year and all the things that you did for others.  WOW - what a year it has been. Please pat yourself right now on the back, yes right now, and feel the joy from accomplishing all that you accomplished.  I love this anonymous quote, "Joy springs from within; no one makes you joyous; you choose joyfulness."

When I look back at the last year I can honestly say that things did not really turn out for me as I had expected. Never in a million years did I think I would be getting divorced. I can sit at home and cry over all the lost dreams and sulk about how lonely I am without someone to kiss on New Years. But there is no joy in that!! Marianne Williamson, whom I love, once said, "Joy is what happens when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things are.  Joy is not necessarily what happens when things unfold according to our plans." How true that is, we are busy making plans and they don't always work out exactly as we planned. So instead of focusing on how my marriage did not work out, I would rather focus on the good. Spending last year at home with my soon to be ex was horrible.  We were invited to my friend Lisa's and at the last minute my ex threw a fit and didn't want to go. Not wanting to leave him alone, I stayed home too.  He went to bed mad, I was sad and lonely, and the rest is history. I am certain, no matter what, that this year will be better than that. Not one part of me wishes that I could go back to that. I would rather celebrate that this year it is so much better to be alone than with someone that you can't stand.

I also want to celebrate my new job with Ellis, Ged & Bodden.  How great is it to create your dream job?  Wow - I work with great people, the firm has a great reputation, my providers are wonderful and I am having fun every single day. Phil Jackson said, "Winning is important to me, but what brings me real joy is the experience of being fully engaged in whatever I'm doing." Giving 110% is what it is all about. Doing a great job, going the extra mile, showing up fully engaged and having fun. Remember this anonymous quote, "Enjoy life, This is not a dress rehearsal."  If you don't love what you do every day make it your mission for next year to find a job that makes you happy.  Life is way too short to be miserable every day. This is also a great time of year to thank others for their service. Saying thank you in any way is better than not saying thank you at all. It does not take big bonuses or large presents to let someone know that you appreciate all they do. I decided to get chocolates for the support staff that helps me most at the office. Starbucks cards for my stylist, manicurist and postman. The smile on their faces was worth the small amount of money I spent and boy did it make me feel good to say thank you. Remember this important quote by Robert Murray McCheyne, "Joy is increased by spreading it to others." And this quote by Neal Donald Walch, "Release the joy inside of another, and you release the joy that is inside you."

Be careful not to be jealous of others. Bask in the happiness of others.  Everyone is entitled to a little happiness, even though you yourself may not be at the happiest time of your life. I am so happy for my friends who have someone special to share this holiday season with and I am sure that they too would be happy for me if the shoe was on the other foot. This is a great quote from Robert A. Heinlein, "One of the sanest, surest, and most generous joys of life comes from being happy over the good fortune of others." This is not an easy task, but it is the most selfless of things one can aspire to be. I just love this quote from Maya Angelou, "When you wish someone joy, you wish them peace, love, prosperity... all good things."  Go out there and share your joy.  Wish the friends and family in your life good things.  Share in their happiness and bask in their rays of joy.  There is enough joy to go around in the world.  Remember this quote always by Henry Ward Beecher, "The sun does not shine for a few trees and flowers, but for the wide world's joy."

I want to wish all of you out there, my very loyal readers, a very happy and healthy new year.  As always I wish for you all that you wish for and I am always here to help you along your path to finding your true dreams and aspirations and helping you to achieve them. Live your truth and let others live their truths.  Say thank you to those you love and appreciate. Thank you to all my loyal readers for reading my weekly tips, sending me your feedback, and for sending me so many numerous offers for writing, speaking and entertaining. I am looking forward to much success in the new year for all of us.

“What I know for sure is that you feel real JOY in direct proportion to how connected you are to living your truth."  - Oprah Winfrey
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Manifestation

Tammy Saltzman - Tuesday, December 14, 2010

“The more clear and definite you make your picture then, and the more you dwell upon it, bringing out all its delightful details, the stronger your desire will be, and the stronger your desire, the easier it will be to hold your mind fixed upon the picture of what you want." Wallace D. Wattles

Tip 51 is on Manifestation.  Some definitions of the word "manifest" from the Webster's New World College Dictionary are, "palpable, evident; to make clear, show plainly, reveal; to show itself." Sounds like magic, but it is as simple as this quote by Henry Ford, "Whether you think you can or can't you are right." I don't know about you, but I would much prefer to think I can all of the time.  I can create my own reality and I choose that reality to be one that revolves around the basic concept of "I can".

The first step in manifesting your dreams is to write them down. Once you commit your dreams to paper they become a real goal that you can now break down into steps necessary to achieving your dream. Remember this quote by Napoleon Hill, "Whatever your mind can conceive and can believe, it can achieve." What is it that you want to manifest in 2011. Even Pablo Picaso once said, "Everything you can imagine is real." Is it a new job, a new relationship, more income, or better health? Sit down and think of your dream situation and then commit it to paper.  Goals are really just dreams with a time line. Mark Victor Hansen said, "You control your future, your destiny. What you think about comes about. By recording your dreams and goals on paper, you set in motion the process of becoming the person you most want to be. Put your future in good hands - your own." If you really want to up the ante I recommend that you share your written dream with at least one person. I am a firm believer in the more people you tell the more chances for success. Another great thing about sharing your dreams is getting feedback from those that support you. Ignore the naysayers at all costs and fill your world with those who are there to offer positive feedback, suggestions, and key connections for helping you manifest your dreams.

Anything is possible. Wayne Dyer has said, "The power of intention is the power to manifest, to create, to live a life of unlimited abundance, and to attract into your life the right people at the right moments."  When I decided to go back to work I knew exactly the type of job I wanted. I decided I wanted to do marketing for a law firm, work from the house, work 25 hours a week, home by 3:00 so I could help my son with his homework, and work with a firm who had a stellar reputation. I knew exactly who to call, founding partner, Ronda Ellis, who was thrilled to have me on board. Not only did I get exactly what I wanted, I love what I am doing and love the people I work for at Ellis, Ged & Bodden, P.A. The power of intention is amazing if you truly believe that you are worthy to reap the rewards. This year I want to work on getting more paid speaking engagements, finalizing my divorce, and figure out a way to stay in my home. All things are possible if you believe them to be so. Carl Sandburg said, "Nothing happens but first a dream."

There will be obstacles in your path. There will be naysayers who tell you that you can't succeed, won't succeed, and the best one, you will never make any money doing that. Don't listen to those people. Most of them never believed they could reach their own dreams, so why should you be able to reach yours. James Allen said, "A man sooner or later discovers that he is the master-gardner of his soul, the director of his life." Don't let others rip away your dreams. If you are passionate about something, if it brings you great joy, then follow your true desires and miracles will happen. Watch out for past history playing a part in your future. You may have tried other things in the past that may not have worked out as you expected. Use those as learning experiences to succeed in the future, not as reasons to stop you from following a new dream. I love this quote by Eckhart Tolle,"The past has no power over the present moment."  Unless you try, one shall never know. It is better to try and fail that to never have tried at all.

I wish for you all that you wish for in 2011. 


“Every great work, every big accomplishment, has been brought into manifestation through holding to the vision, and often just before the big achievement, comes apparent failure and discouragement."  - Florence Scovel Shinn
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Making A Difference

Tammy Saltzman - Tuesday, December 07, 2010

“I am only one, but I am one.  I cannot do everything, but I can do something.  And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do."  - Edward Everett Hale

Tip 50 is on Making a Difference. Do you believe that you can make a difference in the world? Do you believe that just one person can make a difference? I am a firm believer that each and everyone of us can make a difference in the world. William James once said, "Act as if what you do makes a difference.  It does." Michelle Rhee is a shining example of someone who believes that she can make a difference. This week's Tip is being dedication to Michelle Rhee who is an inspiration to all of us and someone that I have a tremendous amount of respect for given the fact that she is willing to take a risk, take a stand, make a commitment, and invite us all along for the ride to radically change how the United States Educational System is run.  For those of you who don't know Michelle Rhee, please make sure to Google her.  In summary, she is the former Chancellor of Schools for Washington D.C. and since her recent resignation has turned down numerous job opportunities even one from the White House. On December 6, 2010, Michelle announced the launch of her new foundation called Students First (www.studentsfirst.org). Michelle has some radical and controversial ideas about how to fix the broken system and I for one am committed to helping her achieve her goal. Anne Frank once said, "How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world."

Back in 1977 when Werner Erhardt launched the Hunger Project our first goal was getting people to take the pledge that they wanted to have Hunger end on the planet. Michelle is heading down the same path, asking us to take a PLEDGE and take a stand saying that we are committed to seeing changes in the educational system so that our children get a better education. Each and every one of taking a pledge really speaks volumes to the powers that be. Leo Rosten once said, "The purpose of life is not to be happy - but to matter, to be productive, to have it make some difference that you have lived at all." Think about that quote and let it really sink in.

Back in 1977 Werner gave me this unbelievable quote by George Bernard Shaw, and it is now one of my favorites:

"This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.

I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and as long as I live it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can.

I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no "brief candle" to me.  It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations."

All you need to know is this: The Program for International Student Assessment (PISA) provided the results of a 2009 study given to 15 year olds in 65 of the world's most industrialized nations and the United States scored 17th in reading, 23rd in science, and 31st in math.  How can that be when we are supposed to be the greatest nation in the world?  How can our young students compete when they are already at such a disadvantage? What is wrong with the way we are educating our students today and what can we do to make changes before it's too late? There is a lot you can do!! Remember this great quote by Sydney Smith, "It is the greatest of all mistakes to do nothing because you can only do a little - do what you can." So, what can you do? First, you can go to the Students First website (www.studentsfirst.org) to read more about the study and Michelle's plans to make things right.  Then you could sign the PLEDGE declaring your commitment to making changes to the education system so that our students have a better chance to compete with students from other world nations. Finally, you can share this information with as many people as you can, just as I am doing here with you today. Mark Twain once said,"The miracle, or the power, that elevates the few is found in their perseverance under the prompting of a brave, determined spirit."  Michelle started this movement, but it is up to each and everyone of us to help her dream of providing a better education to our students come to fruition.

Please feel free to do more, do whatever it is that you can. I love this quote by Mohammed Ali, "Service to others is the rent you pay for room here on earth." As a speaker I am in front of audiences all the time.  I am able to share this message on a regular basis. This past Monday, my friend, family law and appeals attorney and former Mayor of Coral Springs, Scott Brook (www.scottjbrookpa.com) invited me to a PNA meeting at Mythos, a delicious Greek restaurant in Coral Springs, Florida (www.mythosrestaurant.com) to hear my dear friend and colleague Kellie Kuecha (www.kelliekuecha.com) speak about branding. Scott allowed me a few moments to make an announcement where I shared about Students First. Gil Sternbach, the owner of Mythos, he not only made the pledge, but he offered his restaurant for grass root meetings. WOW!!! Congratulations to Mythos!!  Remember, this quote by Winston Churchill, "We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give."  Thanks to all of you for your support.  On Tuesday at Toastmasters I used Students First during my turn at Topics Master. I asked them all to take the pledge.  What ever you can give it adds to the momentum and just taking the pledge helps Michelle reach her goals.

“I expect to pass through life but once.  If therefore, there be any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, and not defer or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again." - William Penn

 
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