Tammy's Tips

Tip 51 is on Manifestation.  Some definitions of the word "manifest" from the Webster's New World College Dictionary are, "palpable, evident; to make clear, show plainly, reveal; to show itself." Sounds like magic, but it is as simple as this quote by Henry Ford, "Whether you think you can or can't you are right." I don't know about you, but I would much prefer to think I can all of the time.  I can create my own reality and I choose that reality to be one that revolves around the basic concept of "I can".

The first step in manifesting your dreams is to write them down. Once you commit your dreams to paper they become a real goal that you can now break down into steps necessary to achieving your dream. Remember this quote by Napoleon Hill, "Whatever your mind can conceive and can believe, it can achieve." What is it that you want to manifest in 2011. Even Pablo Picaso once said, "Everything you can imagine is real." Is it a new job, a new relationship, more income, or better health? Sit down and think of your dream situation and then commit it to paper.  Goals are really just dreams with a time line. Mark Victor Hansen said, "You control your future, your destiny. What you think about comes about. By recording your dreams and goals on paper, you set in motion the process of becoming the person you most want to be. Put your future in good hands - your own." If you really want to up the ante I recommend that you share your written dream with at least one person. I am a firm believer in the more people you tell the more chances for success. Another great thing about sharing your dreams is getting feedback from those that support you. Ignore the naysayers at all costs and fill your world with those who are there to offer positive feedback, suggestions, and key connections for helping you manifest your dreams.

Anything is possible. Wayne Dyer has said, "The power of intention is the power to manifest, to create, to live a life of unlimited abundance, and to attract into your life the right people at the right moments."  When I decided to go back to work I knew exactly the type of job I wanted. I decided I wanted to do marketing for a law firm, work from the house, work 25 hours a week, home by 3:00 so I could help my son with his homework, and work with a firm who had a stellar reputation. I knew exactly who to call, founding partner, Ronda Ellis, who was thrilled to have me on board. Not only did I get exactly what I wanted, I love what I am doing and love the people I work for at Ellis, Ged & Bodden, P.A. The power of intention is amazing if you truly believe that you are worthy to reap the rewards. This year I want to work on getting more paid speaking engagements, finalizing my divorce, and figure out a way to stay in my home. All things are possible if you believe them to be so. Carl Sandburg said, "Nothing happens but first a dream."

There will be obstacles in your path. There will be naysayers who tell you that you can't succeed, won't succeed, and the best one, you will never make any money doing that. Don't listen to those people. Most of them never believed they could reach their own dreams, so why should you be able to reach yours. James Allen said, "A man sooner or later discovers that he is the master-gardner of his soul, the director of his life." Don't let others rip away your dreams. If you are passionate about something, if it brings you great joy, then follow your true desires and miracles will happen. Watch out for past history playing a part in your future. You may have tried other things in the past that may not have worked out as you expected. Use those as learning experiences to succeed in the future, not as reasons to stop you from following a new dream. I love this quote by Eckhart Tolle,"The past has no power over the present moment."  Unless you try, one shall never know. It is better to try and fail that to never have tried at all.

I wish for you all that you wish for in 2011. 

Tip 50 is on Making a Difference. Do you believe that you can make a difference in the world? Do you believe that just one person can make a difference? I am a firm believer that each and everyone of us can make a difference in the world. William James once said, "Act as if what you do makes a difference.  It does." Michelle Rhee is a shining example of someone who believes that she can make a difference. This week's Tip is being dedication to Michelle Rhee who is an inspiration to all of us and someone that I have a tremendous amount of respect for given the fact that she is willing to take a risk, take a stand, make a commitment, and invite us all along for the ride to radically change how the United States Educational System is run.  For those of you who don't know Michelle Rhee, please make sure to Google her.  In summary, she is the former Chancellor of Schools for Washington D.C. and since her recent resignation has turned down numerous job opportunities even one from the White House. On December 6, 2010, Michelle announced the launch of her new foundation called Students First (www.studentsfirst.org). Michelle has some radical and controversial ideas about how to fix the broken system and I for one am committed to helping her achieve her goal. Anne Frank once said, "How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world."

Back in 1977 when Werner Erhardt launched the Hunger Project our first goal was getting people to take the pledge that they wanted to have Hunger end on the planet. Michelle is heading down the same path, asking us to take a PLEDGE and take a stand saying that we are committed to seeing changes in the educational system so that our children get a better education. Each and every one of taking a pledge really speaks volumes to the powers that be. Leo Rosten once said, "The purpose of life is not to be happy - but to matter, to be productive, to have it make some difference that you have lived at all." Think about that quote and let it really sink in.

Back in 1977 Werner gave me this unbelievable quote by George Bernard Shaw, and it is now one of my favorites:

"This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.

I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and as long as I live it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can.

I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no "brief candle" to me.  It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations."

All you need to know is this: The Program for International Student Assessment (PISA) provided the results of a 2009 study given to 15 year olds in 65 of the world's most industrialized nations and the United States scored 17th in reading, 23rd in science, and 31st in math.  How can that be when we are supposed to be the greatest nation in the world?  How can our young students compete when they are already at such a disadvantage? What is wrong with the way we are educating our students today and what can we do to make changes before it's too late? There is a lot you can do!! Remember this great quote by Sydney Smith, "It is the greatest of all mistakes to do nothing because you can only do a little - do what you can." So, what can you do? First, you can go to the Students First website (www.studentsfirst.org) to read more about the study and Michelle's plans to make things right.  Then you could sign the PLEDGE declaring your commitment to making changes to the education system so that our students have a better chance to compete with students from other world nations. Finally, you can share this information with as many people as you can, just as I am doing here with you today. Mark Twain once said,"The miracle, or the power, that elevates the few is found in their perseverance under the prompting of a brave, determined spirit."  Michelle started this movement, but it is up to each and everyone of us to help her dream of providing a better education to our students come to fruition.

Please feel free to do more, do whatever it is that you can. I love this quote by Mohammed Ali, "Service to others is the rent you pay for room here on earth." As a speaker I am in front of audiences all the time.  I am able to share this message on a regular basis. This past Monday, my friend, family law and appeals attorney and former Mayor of Coral Springs, Scott Brook (www.scottjbrookpa.com) invited me to a PNA meeting at Mythos, a delicious Greek restaurant in Coral Springs, Florida (www.mythosrestaurant.com) to hear my dear friend and colleague Kellie Kuecha (www.kelliekuecha.com) speak about branding. Scott allowed me a few moments to make an announcement where I shared about Students First. Gil Sternbach, the owner of Mythos, he not only made the pledge, but he offered his restaurant for grass root meetings. WOW!!! Congratulations to Mythos!!  Remember, this quote by Winston Churchill, "We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give."  Thanks to all of you for your support.  On Tuesday at Toastmasters I used Students First during my turn at Topics Master. I asked them all to take the pledge.  What ever you can give it adds to the momentum and just taking the pledge helps Michelle reach her goals.

Tip 42 is on Living In The Muck.  Living in the muck is never easy.  When I am in the muck of it I just want to stay in bed and never leave.  Sometimes I wish I could stick my head in the sand and pretend it will all go away. Stuff happens all the time that I just don't want to deal with. Can't someone swoop down and save me from all this muck!!!  After a day or two of that even I am sick of myself.  It's okay to have a "pity party" but that can only last for a short time.  No one is going to come down and save me.  It's up to us to pick ourselves up, wipe ourselves off and move on.  It's up to us to get over it and get on with it.  There is no use feeling sorry for yourself, I think it's a complete waste of energy.  So what do you do?

Albert Einstein once said, "In the middle of every difficulty comes opportunity."Another way of saying, "When one door closes another opens." We may not always see the opportunity right away. It may take time for us to learn the lessons we need to learn from each and every experience. The lesson will eventually show itself, the opportunity will be there waiting. So the first thing that we can do when we enter difficult times is to ask ourselves, "What is the lesson I need to learn from this?" If we don't learn the lesson then chances are it could happen again. It's okay to ask others what they think the lesson is. You would be amazed at the wealth of information other people can offer.

There is no one that I know who has a perfect life free from Peaks and Valleys! We all experience setbacks and disappointments.  It's how we handle the down times that really sets us apart from all the rest.  Remember the saying, "The cream always rises to the top." Truly strong people always survive and learn from their mistakes and come out better for it. It's up to each one of us to be in control of our own destiny.  Spencer Johnson, MD, wrote a great book called Peaks and Valleys, Making Good and Bad Times Work For You - At Work and In Your Life.  This is a great read and a charming story.  One of the things the books says is, "Peaks and Valleys are not just the good and the bad times that happen to you. They are also how you feel inside and respond to outside events."So we must try to make the most of our down times too.  Even Neil Young said, "As you go through life, you've got to see the valleys as well as the peaks."

When we are in these down times it is the time for reflection and introspection. Maybe we need the down times to learn the lessons so that we can come back stronger the next time. Maybe we need the downtimes so that we can really appreciate the good times. You all know how much I promote the gratitude list.  Whenever I am feeling in the muck of it I always try to remember all the things that I am so very grateful for. Once I start feeling grateful that feeling of "poor me" seems to disappear. Looking at those who are less fortunate really helps to put things in perspective. Henry Ford once said, "Failure is an opportunity to begin again more intelligently."

Let's remember no matter what, that every single person who ever made it to the top of a peak had spent many a day in the valley.  We need the valleys to help us get to our peaks in life. When we learn from our mistakes the future is brighter and safer.  Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, "When it is dark enough, you can see the stars." So when you experience your next dark time and you feel like you are drowning in the muck look out and see if you can see the stars.  If there weren't any valleys there would be no peaks. Remember this on your journey as you try to reach out for the peaks in your own life.

Tip 41 is on Patience Is A Virtue.  I consider myself a patient person most of the time.  My children often test my patience as does stupidity.  Webster's New World College Dictionary defines Patience as, "the state, quality or fact of being patient; the will or ability to wait or endure without complaint; steadiness, endurance or perseverance in the performance of a task." In life there are many obstacles that test our patience.  Last Friday was the day of tests for me.

The day started off having to pick up my son early from school so that we could head to the airport for a weekend wedding in NY.  When I got to the school and the office called his class they were in the middle of a test.  Please wait 15 minutes until the test is finished.  Ben Franklin once said, "He that can have patience, can have what he will."  Then I headed off to pick up copies that needed to be delivered in Fort Lauderdale.  Since I was heading to the Fort Lauderdale airport I thought kill two birds with one stone and save myself a trip on Monday. Well, the copies weren't ready and there was no time to waste.  As I headed South on I95 the sky opened up and the rain began.  Not just rain though, torrential downpours. Everyone slowed to a snails pace and minute by minute we made our way to the airport.  As we arrived, we were rushed to board quickly before the storm reached the airport.  The pilot was trying to avoid an additional delay until the storm passed over.  As we arrived in the NY area we started circling and circling only to be told that we were not able to land because all the VIP delegates from the United Nation summit were gearing up to leave on their private jets and JFK was now closed until further notice.  Off to Hartford, CT to refuel and sit andwait.  Our plane was 3 hours late arriving at JFK.  I had just spent 6 1/2 hours in closed quarters with my 9 year old son who was hungry, cranky and tired.  I did try to make the best of it.  My poor brother was waiting at the airport for my arrival.  Several passengers missed connecting flights.  We make plans and G-d laughs.  As Alexandre Dumas Pere once said,"All human wisdom is summed up in two words - wait and hope."

I have often had my patience tested on the road.  Here in Florida we have numerous elderly who can barely see over the steering wheel. I have observed that men seem to have less patience than women when it comes to driving.  Mac McClearly said, "Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead."  Think about that for a moment and it really is quite funny and so true.  I am always saying to myself, move over and let me pass.  It will take a lot though for me to lose my cool. I often say, "Patience is ability to count down from ten before you blast off."

When I feel that feeling come over me I try to take a few deep breaths. Saint Augustine has said, "Patience is the companion of wisdom."  I consider myself wise so I try to focus on things I am grateful for which brings me into another space.  An example would be that my son and I were on an adventure.  I was grateful I had gotten him McDonald's on the way to the airport.  I was grateful we had an extra seat between us.  I was grateful that the DSD, PSP and I-Touch were all fully charged. And finally, I was grateful that NY was my final destination and I wasn't missing a connecting flight.  When I focused on all that I was grateful for I was able to breath a little easier and be more playful with my son.  I was very happy when we finally got off that plane. We are always tested in life and it is how we react to certain situations that really determine who we are as human beings.  It's easy to be patient when everything is going your way. Your true character comes out though when things run amuck.

So how will you react next time your patience is tested?  How will you show up?  Remember that Leo Nikolaevich Tolstoy once said, "The two most powerful warriors are patience and time." How will you react the next time your kids ask you one million questions relentlessly after a long day at the office?  How will you react the next time you go into a restaurant and the waitress takes 20 minutes to come to your table?  How will you react when someone cuts you off on the highway?  Try to look at the positive side of things.  Your kids are so brilliant for asking so many questions.  Rejoice in their curiosity!!  Perhaps your waitress was washing her hands so that she would serve your food in a sanitary manner. The person who cuts you off is doing you a favor by helping you to avoid an accident that could have come your way had they not cut you off.  Who knows if any of it is true, but it sure beats playing the victim. Getting angry and wondering why do these things always happen to you is a total waste of time.  Maybe things keep happening to you so that you finally learn the lesson of patience.  I will end with one of my favorite quotes of all time...,

Tip 20 is on Victims of Procrastination.  What is procrastination and why do we all suffer from it.  Webster's New World College Dictionary defines it as, "belonging to tomorrow, to put off doing something unpleasant or burdensome until a future time, to postpone such actions habitually."  So why do we procrastinate?  

Even the most motivated people in the world procrastinate from time to time.  We all get lazy and put off projects that we need to work on until some later date/  Most of the time it really is something unpleasant or burdensome and sometimes it's just something we would rather nor do or there is something we would rather do more.  I personally find that I set up little things to busy myself with so that I can justify to myself why I am not addressing the real matters at hand.  An example is that I will clear off my desk before I start paying bills or I will return a few emails before I write the difficult letter.

Some of us procrastinate because we are afraid of failure.  If we actually go after our dream what will happen if we can't get there or we are not successful.  Sometimes we actually start a new project only to experience rejection and we quickly become discouraged.  A few negative responses may provoke us to give up too soon.  I can remember when I was in the garment center making cold calls, my boss and mentor, Richie Wood, would always remind me that for every 100 rejections 1 positive reply is good.  So I used to make a game of it and keep a tally.  Every time someone said no I would thank them.  They would often ask why I was thanking them for saying no and I would explain that 1 more no brings me closer to the yes!!

When I was practicing law I had this quote by Abraham Lincoln framed in my office, "The leading rule for the lawyer, as for the man of every other calling, is diligence.Leave nothing for tomorrow which can be done today."  Keep that in mind when you look at your daily To-Do List.  Don't you just love to check those items off you list.  I know that I do and I sleep better at night when I know that I have accomplished items on my list.  Try breaking up your projects into smaller segments.  If you can accomplish one small part of the project and work on the rest later or the next day you are getting closer to completion.

Tip 19 is on Reaching Your Dreams.  Obviously, this is not as easy as it sounds.  If it were easy the world would be full of happy people all living their life purpose and content with what life brings them.  Most of us are not happy nor are we content with what we have.  To reach your dreams you will first have to identify what those dreams are, make the decision to pursue those dreams and be prepared to look for new paths when obstacles present themselves, which we all know that they will.

Identifying your dreams is the hard part.  When we were young our imaginations ran wild, we were free to pretend to be anything that we wanted to be.  I can remember as a child playing house with my girlfriends - I was never the the mother - I always wanted to be the father.  I was either an attorney or The President of the United States of America.  I had lofty dreams back then, but it is no mistake that I ended up going to law school to become an attorney.  I pursued that dream much later in life since I started college at 26 and it took 8 years to get my Bachelor's Degree.  I worked full time and went to school nights and weekends.  I kept going because I knew in 8 years I would either be 34 with a college degree or 34 without one.  I chose the former and boy did it take a long time and a lot of hard work.  I finished law school at 37 - finally, and became a licensed Florida attorney.  The point I am making is that it is never too late to go after your dreams and with a lot of hard work and determination anything is possible.  What did you want to be when you grew up?

Sometimes our dreams change.  Sometimes we find that we pursued someone else's dream - like a parent or a spouse and we are not happy with the choices that we made.  Sometimes we find that the rug is pulled out from under us - like we lose our job or our spouse wants a divorce.  The loss of a job is what motivated me to go to college to get my degree.  I am now pursing a career in professional speaking because if brings me so much pleasure and I I've been told time and time again that I really make a difference in the lives of others.  When you discover a new dream later in life go for it.  It's never too late to pursue your dreams as long as you believe in your abilities and have the courage to persevere.  Life takes many twists and turns and there will be many times when we will need to take adversity in stride.  Remember, "When one door closes another one will open."

Many of us have talents, some even have hidden talents.  What are they for you?  My sister-in-law,  a licensed psychologist, has a passion for writing.  She committed herself to write a short childrens' story. She even enrolled in a writing group in pursuit of her dream. She has been working on this for a very long time and she is committed.  When she talks about her writing her whole demeanor changes.  Her face lights up and she gets so excited!! This is the stuff that dreams are made of!! Some of us are good at sales - some of us are good at numbers - what ever it is that you are good at or that gets you excited - that is a good place to start.  I have heard it said many times, "Do what you love and money will follow."  When you are passionate about something and truly committed to the success it is inevitable that you will find that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow!!  I wish you all good luck in finding your passions.

“If one advances confidently of their dreams and endeavors to live the life they've imagined, they will meet success unexpected in common hours. " - David Thoreau

Tip 12 is on one of my most popular presentations called The 9 Secret Tips To Increasing Profits Overnight.  Anyone interested in the full version of this presentation can contact me to book a live presentation in your offices or feel free to go to my website to purchase the DVD and Activity Guide on line. 

1. Find Your Own Personal Brand - what makes you stand out from your competition both as a company and as an individual?  Look for vertical niches that you can create a specialty in.

2. Market Your Brand To Prospects - our logo designs, letterheads and websites reflect who we are.  Be able to explain what you do in 30 seconds or less (elevator pitch).  When prospecting at networking events it is not quantity that matters but quality.  Ask questions and write down the answers for follow-up purposes.

3. Convert Prospects Into Clients - follow-up with prospects and remembering details will help with relationship development.  Be persistent, be prepared and expect to follow-up 7-8 times.  50% of all salespeople only make 1 follow-up call.  80% of all sales takes place after 5 calls.  Invite a prospect to a chamber or other networking event and offer to drive and/or pay for the ticket.

4. Provide Excellent Customer Service - service begins with the person answering the phone.  Stay in communication with your clients.  Include handwritten notes on invoices.  Offer something for nothing.

5. Create Alliances and Joint Ventures - network with other people looking for similar clients.  Create mastermind groups and join leads groups.  Send referral business to get referral business.

6. Visit Client and Invite Clients - bring lunch and meet the staff of your top clients.  Invite a client to lunch or golf to introduce them to someone they might want to meet and ask them to invite someone you would like to meet. Use surveys to find out how you are doing and what you could do better.

7. Ask For Referral Business - if you don't ask they probably won't offer.  Ask for testimonials for your website.  Ask your clients if they would like for you to do a presentation in their offices (they can invite their clients or prospects).  80% of your new business will come from 20% of your existing business.

8. Thank Referral Sources Appropriately - referral sources are your free sales team.  Make sure to send gifts, tickets, gift cards, even a plant to make them feel appreciated.  Follow-up with your referral source to let them know how it is going.

9. Set and Achieve Goals - create a marketing plan and/or a retention plan.  Set aside a certain number of hours each week to prospect, to follow-up and to keep in touch with existing clients.