Tammy Saltzman - Wednesday, April 13, 2011
“If you're the type of person who has to fulfill your dreams, you've gotta be resourceful to make sure you can do it." - Vin Diesel
Tip 64 asks the question Are You Resourceful? Just this week my new friend Sonia complimented me by saying that she thought I was resourceful. She did not realize it as she said it, but I thought that was the nicest compliment anyone has ever given me. I liked it so much I am dedicating this Tip to Being Someone Who Is Resourceful. So once again I ask you, Are You Resourceful? Webster's New World College Dictionary defines the word Resourceful as, "full of resource; able to deal creatively and effectively with problems, difficulties, etc". I LOVE that definition!!! I am resourceful. I am a problem solver, a brainstormer, a masterminder and a coach. I own it and I am thrilled. This is not something that you are when you just are getting started in the business world. It takes experience and age to really become someone who is resourceful. The more we experience and learn in life, the more resourceful we become. Many of us also, have a special way of looking at things, at tackling problems head on, and that makes us appear resourceful to others.
Growing up, the person I most admired was my stepmom, Martha. No matter what it was, no matter what the question, no matter what I needed, she was my go to person. When all else failed I always knew Martha would have the answer or know where to find the answer. I used to say, "Martha is the most resourceful person I know." Now many many years later to be called resourceful in my own right is really too good to be true. It is always interesting how life comes full circle. Thank you Sonia for saying this is now a quality that you see in me and admire. My friend Dic also expressed this compliment to me indirectly by sending Carol my way. Carol just opened her own appellate practice in town and Dic referred her to me as someone who was well connected and could introduce her around. "She's a good person for you to know." WOW!!! Thank you Dic !! I emulate you - because it was not too long ago that you were my go to guy in all things legal. You were always a great resource for me and it is my pleasure to now return the favor. For Carol to succeed she must be resourceful and be around resourceful people. I love this quote by Gary Ryan Blair, "You cannot afford to wait for perfect conditions. Goal setting is often a matter of balancing timing against available resources. Opportunities are easily lost while waiting for perfect conditions."
Resourceful people know how to get things done. They know who to call. They know where to go. Resourceful people know how to solve problems, come up with solutions, overcome obstacles and know how to think outside the box. The best part of being resourceful is knowing when you don't know and knowing where to look for it. I may not always have the answer, but I know who I can call who might be able to help. You have to stop and laugh when you hear this quote by Scott Adams, "There is nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot." I also think resourceful people make the best networkers. They know how to bring key people together, how to make the right introductions and how to give more than they promise so they are always over delivering. Resourceful people know how to put the right team of people together to get any job done. They also know how to analyze production, motivate others, and create a true team spirit.
How can you be resourceful today? Do you have a project that you have been putting off because you don't have all the answers? Who would have all the answers or at least some of them. Who would you need to call to answer some of the tough questions. Believe it or not, sometimes your competition turns out to be the best resource. Who better to ask than someone who has been there and done that. Who would turn down a call from someone saying that you admire them and would like to learn more about how they have been so successful? Resourceful people know how to get information out of people and how to make them feel good about divulging. Resourceful people are always appreciative of their resources. Don't let obstacles stop you. Remember this quote by Daniel J. Boorstin, "The courage to imagine the otherwise is our greatest resource, adding color and suspense to all our life."
Feel free to call me if there is a project that you are working on that needs completion. I am happy to work with you in getting the project outlined and putting a personal action plan into place. For those of you feel you can manage on your own I am attaching a copy of my personal action plan for your own use (FORM). Good luck being resourceful or gathering other resourceful people into your lives.
“Remember you will not always win. Some days, the most resourceful individuals will taste defeat. But there is, in this case, always tomorrow - after you have done your best to achieve success today." - Maxwell Maltz
Tammy Saltzman - Tuesday, February 01, 2011
“Be careful what you water your dreams with. Water them with worry and fear and you will produce weeds that choke the life from your dream. Water them with optimism and solutions and you will cultivate success. Always be on the lookout for ways to nuture your dreams." - Lao Tzu
Tip 56 is on Being Careful. Are you someone who tends to be careful and cautious or are you someone that jumps in with both feet and throws caution to the wind? There is a good arguement for both perspectives. Webster's New World College Dictionary defines the word careful as follows, "acting or working in a thoughtful, painstaking way; cautious, wary, or guarded." And the word carefree as, "free from troubles or worry." I do believe that there is a time to be careful and a time to be carefree. Feeling carefree is a gift that we should all enjoy whenever we can and it is usually a reward that we get from being careful. Ben Franklin once said, "Distrust and caution are the parents of security." It is only when we feels most secure that we can throw caution to the wind and enjoy a carefree moment.
As a lawyer it is really my job to look for all the things that can go wrong. It is our job as attorneys to let our clients know what is their worst case scenario. We are trained to look at the upside and weight it against the downside. It is our job to make sure that the client knows the worst possible outcome of each decision they make so that they can make an educated decision. I try hard not to be this pessimistic in my real world, but when a client pays you to play the devils advocate it is our ethical responsibility to perform. Ralph Waldo Emerson will remind us, "A man is usually more careful of his money that he is of his principles."
In business we are always cautious. Buying businesses, taking in partners, hiring employees, and securing vendors. It's a risky business out there and checking out the reputation of the people we do business with makes perfect sense. With today's technology everyone's information is just a click away on Google. The Better Business Buereau and Daily Business Review have all their records available on line. Court records and deeds are all public documents that are now available on line at most court houses throughout the United States. When is comes to financial matters we need to be as careful as possible. Not only do we consult our lawyers, but we now consult our CPA's, financial planners, and our estate planners. Unfortunately, no matter how careful we are are many of life's lessons end up costing us money. Do your best to try and learn the expensive lessons from the mistakes of others. Remember this by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, "Every step of life shows much caution is required." I think that is another way of saying the older we get the more jaded we become.
As a parent I am always cautioning my children to be careful. We start when they are very young. Don't touch the stove, look both ways when you cross. Be careful!! We are worried for our children and don't want them to get hurt. Even as adults our parents are worried and still tell us to be careful. Adam's mom Joan just told him to be careful when he told her all about me this past week. I have heard the same advice as well from my well meaning friends and family. Joan doesn't know me and my friends don't know Adam, but everyone says the same thing, "We are so happy for you. Go slow, be careful." When it comes to matters of the heart it is so much harder to be careful. The excitement and the hope take over and just sweep you off your feet. Aren't we all looking for ever lasting love?? Bertrand Russell once said, "Of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness." Yet e.e.cummings reminds us, "Be of love a little more careful than of anything." I would like to think that what he meant was that once you find love be careful with it, preserve it and cherish it so that you don't lose it. Sorry Joan, it's too late - if it doesn't work out it will probably hurt, but if it does work out - G-d bless and thank you Lisa.
“It is better to err on the side of daring than the side of caution." - Alvin Toffler
Tammy Saltzman - Monday, January 31, 2011
“None of us got where we are solely by pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps. We got here because somebody - a parent, a teacher, an Ivy League crony or a few nuns - bent down and helped us pick up our boots."- Thurgood Marshall
Tip 54 is on Appreciation. Specifically appreciation of other people in your life that really made a difference. Many people come and go into our lives everyday, but every now and then we are moved by the acts of others. Look back and see who is it that really impacted your life in one way or the other. The impact could even be bad, but what we actually learned was good. Have we said "thank you" to the people that have made some lasting impression? I started thinking about this as I prepared for the International Speech Contest tomorrow at Toastmasters. I am doing my speech about my dad and all the lessons that I have learned from him and how much I appreciate all that I learned. I can't call my dad to say thank you, but I can honor his memory by keeping his name (Saltzman) and using all that I learned from him for good. I love this quote by John F. Kennedy, "As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them."
As I started to think about all my appreciation I have for my dad, I started realizing that in the last few days I have been very appreciative. My dear friend Monty invited me to one of his infamous wine dinners. The food and wine was delicious, the company delightful, and a good time was had by all. Another dear friend Lisa set me up on a blind date Saturday night. The date happened to be one of the best blind dates I ever had, but regardless, I was so appreciative that she thought of me and passed my number along. I tried to express my appreciation by sending Monty an email the next morning and texting Lisa some of the details from my Saturday night date. Remember, Mark Kay Ash once said, "Everyone wants to be appreciated, so if you appreciate someone, don't keep it a secret." As far as love is concerned, Alexander Smith reminds us, "Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others, and the delight in the recognition." Hence, the great date with Adam.
You are always hearing me talk about how much I love my job and the firm that I work for, Ellis, Ged & Bodden, P.A. Yes, I am constantly appreciating my working situation, but it means nothing if I don't communicate it to the people I work for and the people I work with. I am always telling my boss how much I love my job and how much fun I have every single day. I truly believe this quote by William James, "The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated." And if there is ever a time that you don't appreciate your job, please remember this quote by Oscar Wilde, "The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one." And if you are a business owner that happens to have great employees, remember they too want to be appreciated. Sam Walton, founder of Walmart, really said it best, "Appreciate everything your associates do for the business. Nothing else can quite substitute for a few well-chosen, well timed, sincere words of praise. They're absolutely free and worth a fortune."
So, as I was sitting here writing my Tip my son's tutor came in to provide me with the weekly progress report for Brandon. Greg Yodowitz, like most teachers is under paid and under appreciated. Teachers are responsible for our children's futures. Teachers never get enough appreciation. Mr. Yodowitz, we love you, thanks for making a difference in Brandon's education. Dan Rather said it best, "The dream begins with a teacher who believes in you, who tugs and pushes and leads you to the next plateau, sometime poking you with a sharp stick called truth." So really, please act immediately to this anonymous quote, "If you can read this, go thank a teacher." If you live in the Boca Raton area and are looking for a good tutor see Mr. Yodowitz's contact information below.
“We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have." Fredierick Keonig
Tammy Saltzman - Tuesday, January 11, 2011
“People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges." -Anonymous
"He who burns his bridges better be a damn good swimmer." - Proverb
Tip 53 is on Burning Bridges. To burn or not to burn is the question? Are you someone who burns bridges or you someone who never burns a bridge. I am sure that we have already talked about this topic once before, but we can all think about this topic again. For me, I am a firm believer in never burning bridges. I have come to learn in my life that you just never know when you might need to cross that bridge again and if you burn it you can never go back. Of course, there are always circumstances that might warrant such drastic action, but those are far and few.
So, why burn the bridge in the first place? There could be many reasons to burn a bridge, but we should exam the reasons. Make a list of all the people in your life that you have cut off - never to be spoken to again. Jot a note beside each name to see why you have decided to burn that bridge. If someone wronged you: slept with your spouse, stole money from your accounts, etc., you are justified. "If you hurt me once shame on you, but if you hurt me twice shame on me." We can cut those people out that lie, cheat and steal. Who needs their bad karma around us? You can also eliminate people who treat others with no respect. I once had a friend that I met through another couple. We would go out together as couples for dinner. Every single time we went out this friend would be nasty to the restaraunt personnel, rude to the valet and then spend most of the night emasculating her husband. FInally, after about 5-6 dinners with this couple I refused to go out with them anymore. Believe it or not when she asked why I told her the truth.
A lot of times we burn bridges because we don't get our way and we get angry. Elliott Larson said it best, "Anger always comes from frustrated expectations." Hearing the word "no" can really set a lot of people off and then we say or do things out of anger that has the potential to burn the bridge even if it's not what we intended. This often happens with the people we love most - like our children. This past week one of my children was finally moving out and getting his own place. He is 21 years old and when his dad and I got married he was 9 and he and his siblings came to live with me. This past year he has been living with me even though his dad has not. When I asked him to move out because things were not really working out for me he got angry and told me I am not his mother, never will be his mother, and never ever to call him again. He is lucky I love him unconditionally or I may have allowed him to burn that bridge. Unfortunately, he took advantage and didn't really appreciate the opportunity I provided living home with me. He felt entitled. I love this quote by Marian Wright Edelman, "Don't feel entitled to anything you didn't sweat and struggle for." And here is a great quote from William James, "The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated." Regardless, be careful of cutting people of your life just because you couldn't get your way.
Sometimes we burn bridges in business. The most common mistake is burning a relationship with one of our customers. Trust me when I tell you there is no amount of money in the world that you could pay to counteract bad press from even one other person out there carrying a vendetta. The price you would need to pay to make the customer happy and satisfied is so much less than the damage one unhappy customer is capable of doing. Always, always, always try to go the extra mile to satifisy even the most difficult of customers. Sometimes it's not fair and the customer is not right, but it is so much better to have a happy customer than to have an unhappy one. In business, the customer is always, always, always right. Remember this quote by Dennis Wholey, "Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting a bull not to attack you because you are a vegitarian." Life isn't always fair and sometimes we need to come out of pocket to make someone happy.
“Maturity is: The ability to stock with a job until it's finished; The abilility to do a job without being supervised; The ability to carry money without spending it; and The ability to bear an injustice without wanting to get even." - Abigail Van Buren
Tammy Saltzman - Tuesday, December 14, 2010
“The more clear and definite you make your picture then, and the more you dwell upon it, bringing out all its delightful details, the stronger your desire will be, and the stronger your desire, the easier it will be to hold your mind fixed upon the picture of what you want." Wallace D. Wattles
Tip 51 is on Manifestation. Some definitions of the word "manifest" from the Webster's New World College Dictionary are, "palpable, evident; to make clear, show plainly, reveal; to show itself." Sounds like magic, but it is as simple as this quote by Henry Ford, "Whether you think you can or can't you are right." I don't know about you, but I would much prefer to think I can all of the time. I can create my own reality and I choose that reality to be one that revolves around the basic concept of "I can".
The first step in manifesting your dreams is to write them down. Once you commit your dreams to paper they become a real goal that you can now break down into steps necessary to achieving your dream. Remember this quote by Napoleon Hill, "Whatever your mind can conceive and can believe, it can achieve." What is it that you want to manifest in 2011. Even Pablo Picaso once said, "Everything you can imagine is real." Is it a new job, a new relationship, more income, or better health? Sit down and think of your dream situation and then commit it to paper. Goals are really just dreams with a time line. Mark Victor Hansen said, "You control your future, your destiny. What you think about comes about. By recording your dreams and goals on paper, you set in motion the process of becoming the person you most want to be. Put your future in good hands - your own." If you really want to up the ante I recommend that you share your written dream with at least one person. I am a firm believer in the more people you tell the more chances for success. Another great thing about sharing your dreams is getting feedback from those that support you. Ignore the naysayers at all costs and fill your world with those who are there to offer positive feedback, suggestions, and key connections for helping you manifest your dreams.
Anything is possible. Wayne Dyer has said, "The power of intention is the power to manifest, to create, to live a life of unlimited abundance, and to attract into your life the right people at the right moments." When I decided to go back to work I knew exactly the type of job I wanted. I decided I wanted to do marketing for a law firm, work from the house, work 25 hours a week, home by 3:00 so I could help my son with his homework, and work with a firm who had a stellar reputation. I knew exactly who to call, founding partner, Ronda Ellis, who was thrilled to have me on board. Not only did I get exactly what I wanted, I love what I am doing and love the people I work for at Ellis, Ged & Bodden, P.A. The power of intention is amazing if you truly believe that you are worthy to reap the rewards. This year I want to work on getting more paid speaking engagements, finalizing my divorce, and figure out a way to stay in my home. All things are possible if you believe them to be so. Carl Sandburg said, "Nothing happens but first a dream."
There will be obstacles in your path. There will be naysayers who tell you that you can't succeed, won't succeed, and the best one, you will never make any money doing that. Don't listen to those people. Most of them never believed they could reach their own dreams, so why should you be able to reach yours. James Allen said, "A man sooner or later discovers that he is the master-gardner of his soul, the director of his life." Don't let others rip away your dreams. If you are passionate about something, if it brings you great joy, then follow your true desires and miracles will happen. Watch out for past history playing a part in your future. You may have tried other things in the past that may not have worked out as you expected. Use those as learning experiences to succeed in the future, not as reasons to stop you from following a new dream. I love this quote by Eckhart Tolle,"The past has no power over the present moment." Unless you try, one shall never know. It is better to try and fail that to never have tried at all.
I wish for you all that you wish for in 2011.
“Every great work, every big accomplishment, has been brought into manifestation through holding to the vision, and often just before the big achievement, comes apparent failure and discouragement." - Florence Scovel Shinn
Tammy Saltzman - Tuesday, December 07, 2010
“I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do." - Edward Everett Hale
Tip 50 is on Making a Difference. Do you believe that you can make a difference in the world? Do you believe that just one person can make a difference? I am a firm believer that each and everyone of us can make a difference in the world. William James once said, "Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does." Michelle Rhee is a shining example of someone who believes that she can make a difference. This week's Tip is being dedication to Michelle Rhee who is an inspiration to all of us and someone that I have a tremendous amount of respect for given the fact that she is willing to take a risk, take a stand, make a commitment, and invite us all along for the ride to radically change how the United States Educational System is run. For those of you who don't know Michelle Rhee, please make sure to Google her. In summary, she is the former Chancellor of Schools for Washington D.C. and since her recent resignation has turned down numerous job opportunities even one from the White House. On December 6, 2010, Michelle announced the launch of her new foundation called Students First (www.studentsfirst.org). Michelle has some radical and controversial ideas about how to fix the broken system and I for one am committed to helping her achieve her goal. Anne Frank once said, "How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world."
Back in 1977 when Werner Erhardt launched the Hunger Project our first goal was getting people to take the pledge that they wanted to have Hunger end on the planet. Michelle is heading down the same path, asking us to take a PLEDGE and take a stand saying that we are committed to seeing changes in the educational system so that our children get a better education. Each and every one of taking a pledge really speaks volumes to the powers that be. Leo Rosten once said, "The purpose of life is not to be happy - but to matter, to be productive, to have it make some difference that you have lived at all." Think about that quote and let it really sink in.
Back in 1977 Werner gave me this unbelievable quote by George Bernard Shaw, and it is now one of my favorites:
"This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.
I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and as long as I live it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can.
I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no "brief candle" to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations."
All you need to know is this: The Program for International Student Assessment (PISA) provided the results of a 2009 study given to 15 year olds in 65 of the world's most industrialized nations and the United States scored 17th in reading, 23rd in science, and 31st in math. How can that be when we are supposed to be the greatest nation in the world? How can our young students compete when they are already at such a disadvantage? What is wrong with the way we are educating our students today and what can we do to make changes before it's too late? There is a lot you can do!! Remember this great quote by Sydney Smith, "It is the greatest of all mistakes to do nothing because you can only do a little - do what you can." So, what can you do? First, you can go to the Students First website (www.studentsfirst.org) to read more about the study and Michelle's plans to make things right. Then you could sign the PLEDGE declaring your commitment to making changes to the education system so that our students have a better chance to compete with students from other world nations. Finally, you can share this information with as many people as you can, just as I am doing here with you today. Mark Twain once said,"The miracle, or the power, that elevates the few is found in their perseverance under the prompting of a brave, determined spirit." Michelle started this movement, but it is up to each and everyone of us to help her dream of providing a better education to our students come to fruition.
Please feel free to do more, do whatever it is that you can. I love this quote by Mohammed Ali, "Service to others is the rent you pay for room here on earth." As a speaker I am in front of audiences all the time. I am able to share this message on a regular basis. This past Monday, my friend, family law and appeals attorney and former Mayor of Coral Springs, Scott Brook (www.scottjbrookpa.com) invited me to a PNA meeting at Mythos, a delicious Greek restaurant in Coral Springs, Florida (www.mythosrestaurant.com) to hear my dear friend and colleague Kellie Kuecha (www.kelliekuecha.com) speak about branding. Scott allowed me a few moments to make an announcement where I shared about Students First. Gil Sternbach, the owner of Mythos, he not only made the pledge, but he offered his restaurant for grass root meetings. WOW!!! Congratulations to Mythos!! Remember, this quote by Winston Churchill, "We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give." Thanks to all of you for your support. On Tuesday at Toastmasters I used Students First during my turn at Topics Master. I asked them all to take the pledge. What ever you can give it adds to the momentum and just taking the pledge helps Michelle reach her goals.
“I expect to pass through life but once. If therefore, there be any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, and not defer or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again." - William Penn
Tammy Saltzman - Tuesday, November 30, 2010
“We all have our own life to pursue, our own kind of dream to be weaving, and we all have the power to make wishes come true, as long as we keep believing."
- Louisa May Alcott
Tip 49 is on Words of Encouragement. This weeks tip starts and ends with a quote from Louisa May Alcott, a respected author who made a huge difference in my young life when I read Little Women. When I speak to students one of the first things that I tell them as a key to their own success is to make sure that they are following their own dreams. So often our own dreams are quashed by our parents, family and friends when we are told that what we are dreaming isn't realistic or will never earn us any income. Webster's New World College Dictionary defines the word Encourage as "to give courage, hope or confidence to; to give support to; be favorable to; foster; help." What a wonderful great thing it is to offer encouragement. Christopher Reeves once said, "Once you choose hope, anything is possible."
I just returned from a visit with my family up north. What a great Thanksgiving it was to spend time with my brothers and their beautiful and amazing children. I am dedicating this Tip to my niece Ilana and my nephews Allen, Michael and Max. I am so proud of those kids and I just loved to sit and listen to what they are dreaming for their future here on planet earth. How great it is to even have a dream. Imagine what life would be like if we didn't have any dreams for ourselves. Theodore Roosevelt said, "Believe you can and you're halfway there." Most young adults thrive when they have a plan, a goal or a dream. I have seen the lack of motivation in my own adult children when there is no plan and they have no dream. It is really hard to get through the day unless there is something better that we can reach for. Wherever it may take us and whatever it may be. This is a great quote by Henry David Thoreau, "If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours."
Ilana wants to be a writer and stand up and aspires to one day be on Saturday Night Live. I told her, research the prior cast members and follow in their paths. Find out what schools they went to and how they got their start in comedy. Contact the current staff and see if you can get an internship there. What is the worst they can say? "NO" A silly little word that only has 2 letters which happens to scare a lot of people away from even trying. Remember, NO always means not now. It does not mean NEVER. Allen also wants to be an actor. He has been acting since he was old enough to try out for the local theater groups and summer camp plays. He has not only acted in more than a dozen productions, but he has had many leading roles. He can sing, dance and act and he does it with passion. Every single extra dollar he can spare is spent riding the train to Manhattan to see Broadway and Off Broadway shows to study his craft. He is not someone who needs a dream, but he could definitely use a little more encouragement. We all know how hard it is to succeed in this business, so figure out a Plan B to help get you through until you make it in show business. Here is a great quote by Confucius, "It does not matter how slowly you go up, so long as you don't stop."
Michael is the sweetest of the crowd. Never great at books and homework but he has a love and passion for computers. At the very young age of 13 he managed to get himself an internship with a computer company giving him enough confidence to launch his own computer repair side business. With the right encouragement and a little help from cousin Joey maybe one day he will be offered a job with Microsoft. One never knows - Why not dream big. Max the wild one of the bunch is a soccer maven. Not only playing, but now refereeing games. He is mature, confident and sure of his calls even at the young age of 15. He one day wants to work with FIFA and at the rate he is traveling (warp speed ahead) I have no doubt this young man will accomplish every single one of his goals. A great quote by Craig Venter, "I don't know if the optimist or the pessimists are right. But the optimists are going to get something done."
We all come into this life with the sole purpose to make a difference in the lives of others. How great an opportunity to start at home with our own children giving them a reason to believe and hope. My own 21 year old son has lost his way and took a semester off from college. We spent many a night talking about his interests and what "turns him on." We talked about business, college, armed forces, technical schools, police force and EMTs. We covered many topics and researched some of them more. I believe he lacks a dream and a plan for himself in the future. Just finishing college is not exciting unless you have an idea of what you would like to accomplish with that degree. I do my best to love and support him with words of encouragement and hope. I am certain he will eventually find his way. James R. Cook once said, "Do just once what others say you can't do and you will never pay attention to their limitations again." I believe that he can do whatever it is that he sets his mind to. We discovered that he does have a dream to be in criminal investigation..., stay tuned.
If you don't have children or our children are already grown look for other opportunities to encourage others.Today in Toastmaster's Dan spoke of his grandfather who took Dan aside upon graduation from High School and taught him the art of making a plan. Sitting down with him to teach him about Goal Setting and how to make "SMART" goals. Wow! Dan was so lucky to have someone in his life to encouragement him to set goals and teach him the proper way to set them out. Dan has used this to teach many of his staff how to set proper goals to help them achieve their dreams. We all want to be successful and earn a lot of money, but we need a specific plan to provide the road map. Dan is now teaching others to create their own road map. Dan is living this quote by Mark Twain, "Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great."
“Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see them, and try to follow where they lead. - Louisa May Alcott
Tammy Saltzman - Tuesday, October 26, 2010
“Mental toughness is many things and rather difficult to explain. Its qualities are sacrifice and self-denial. Also, most importantly, it is combined with a perfectly disciplined will that refuses to give in. It's a state of mind - you could call it 'character in action'." - Vince Lombardi
Tip 45 is on True Motivation. Even me, the queen of motivation, the "Achievement Avatar," sometimes has trouble staying motivated. Why is it that we sometimes lose steam? What does it really take to stay truly motivated through thick and thin, no matter what? Most people will tell you that true motivation comes from doing what you love. If you are passionate about what you are doing then you are always motivated. I believe this to be true, it is important to do what you love, but even then there are times that we all lack motivation.
Right now in my life I am doing 2 things that I really love and having a great time doing both. By day I am working for a law firm doing relationship development for Ellis, Ged Bodden, P.A. I love my job and the people I work for and the people I work with. I love the providers that I meet with everyday and every opportunity I get I tell the partners how much fun I am having and I love my job. This month I had a lot of cancelled appointments. That will really put a damper in your day, your week and even your month. Not only do you lose the appointment you had scheduled, but you lose another appointment slot to reschedule the missed appointment. Overcoming that type of obstacle and staying motivated is not easy. Dr. Robert Shueller once said, "Tough times never last, but tough people do." So every day I must put on my happy face and go out there and conquer the world. My other job as a professional speaker, trainer and coach has its ups and downs like anything else even though speaking is my most favorite thing to do in the world. Going through a divorce this year really threw me off kilter and it's not easy to motivate others when you are not feeling very motivated.
I see doctors all day every day. I meet all kinds of doctors and see all kinds of practices. Some of the doctors complain they don't have enough business but are not really motivated to implement any suggestions as to how they can improve their situation. Are they resigned? Do they lack motivation? Perhaps it is in the attitude. If you have a positive attitude and believe that all of your small efforts could make the difference then perhaps that is what will motivate you!! Tommy Lasorda said, "The difference between the impossible and the possible lies in a person's determination."
Recently, one of my sons moved home from Gainsville after completing his AA degree from Sante Fe College. He took a semester off and is working in a bar. He sleeps until 11:00 eats, drinks, smokes and then goes to the gym. He then comes home eats, drinks, smokes and goes to work. What kind of life is this for a 21 year old man with the world at his feet? What would it take to motivate this wonderful young man? He needs a plan - he needs a dream - he needs something to reach for so that he is motivated. Martin Luther King once said, "How quickly 'not now' becomes never." Taking a semester off worries me like it would any other parent. My son loves NCIS and for years has commented that he would love that line of work. Do you encourage your son to look into the NAVY?? Why not? Especially, if NCIS is what he is passionate about!! Mary Tyler Moore has said, "Having a dream is what keeps you alive. Overcoming the challenges makes life worth living." I will support my son in any decision he makes but encourage him to live life to the fullest. As James Dean once said, "Dream as if you'll live forever, and live as if you'll die today."
There is always one person in our lives that can give us support when we need it. There is always one person who is always chipper and motivates us to push ahead. For me that person is Colleen Sullivan, my friend, my coach and my sounding board. Find that one person that can be there for you and kick you when you need it to move forward and keep trying. On tomorrow's call at 2:00 please bring with you your Tips for staying motivated.
“We are all inventors, each sailing out on a voyage of discovery, guided each by a private chart, of which there is no duplicate. The world is all gates, all opportunities." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Tammy Saltzman - Tuesday, October 19, 2010
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or there the does of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory no defeat." - Theodore Roosevelt
Tip 44 is on true confidence. True confidence comes totally from within. We all know our own true worth and it is up to each and every one of us to let our true selves shine through. Confidence is not something that someone else can give to you it is something you give to yourself. More importantly, no one can take away your confidence no matter how hard they try. One of my favorite quotes by Eleanor Roosevelt is, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." There are several excellent psychotherapists that can help you realize your lack of self confidence, perhaps identify why there is a lack of self confidence, and even help you to discover your own personal value. This takes acknowledgment, commitment, and lots of hard work. But as they say, "practice makes perfect."
Spiritually, we are all children of G-d and perfect in our own ways. There will always be someone who is smarter and someone who is not as smart. There will always be someone who is better looking and someone who is not as good looking. Regardless of where we fall we are each perfect in our own way. We all make a difference as long as we make the effort to try. Henry Ford once said, "Whether you think you can or can't - you are right." I would rather be right about the fact that I am special and I can make a difference.
Peter T. Mcintyre once said, "Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong." Going off to law school was a huge endeavor for me at 34 years old. I wasn't really sure that I would get in and when I did I was thrilled. I will always remember the first grade that I got back in Legal Writing, it was a D. I was convinced that D's were for dummys and I was no dummy. I went to the professor's office after class that day and explained to her that I needed to learn what it would take to write an A paper. I knew that she couldn't give me an A on the actual paper, but I wanted to re-write that paper until I had learned what an A paper looked like. Never did I realize that I would have to write that paper 5-6 times.
Many of my readers have sent me emails pointing out to me the typo's and grammatical errors in my Tips. Les Brown often says, "Other peoples opinions of you does not have to become your reality." I make no excuses other than I speak much better than I write. Writing is not my strength, but I do not let it stop me from writing this BLOG called Tammy's Tips every single week. 44 weeks and going strong. Thank you so much for sending me the corrections because when the first 52 Tips are completed I plan to put it into book form for readers to purchase. You are saving my eventual editor a lot of work - so keep the corrections coming. My Tips are like my weekly diary to my readers. They are not written in advance they are usually written the night before. While I could prepare them way in advance and certainly have someone edit them I don't. The value in the Tips is not in the proper grammar but in the meaning of the message. Bruce Bartone said, "Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside of them was superior to circumstance." Just to clarify, the message is what counts to me. The message is superior to the proper grammar.
If I were to allow a few grammatical errors to stop me from sending these messages, my loyal readers would be very disappointed and the book I plan on putting together eventually would never come to fruition. I am willing to take a leap of faith and ask all of you to forgive my slight errors in grammar that I make from time to time and try to get past it and look for the message in the Tips. Enjoy and have a great weak. (lol) week.
"A great deal of talent is lost to the world for want of little courage. Every day sends to their graves obscure men whose timidity prevented them from making a first effort." - Sydney Smith
Tammy Saltzman - Tuesday, October 05, 2010
“The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we attain too cheaply, we esteem too lightly; it is adversity that gives everything its value."
- Thomas Payne
Tip 42 is on Living In The Muck. Living in the muck is never easy. When I am in the muck of it I just want to stay in bed and never leave. Sometimes I wish I could stick my head in the sand and pretend it will all go away. Stuff happens all the time that I just don't want to deal with. Can't someone swoop down and save me from all this muck!!! After a day or two of that even I am sick of myself. It's okay to have a "pity party" but that can only last for a short time. No one is going to come down and save me. It's up to us to pick ourselves up, wipe ourselves off and move on. It's up to us to get over it and get on with it. There is no use feeling sorry for yourself, I think it's a complete waste of energy. So what do you do?
Albert Einstein once said, "In the middle of every difficulty comes opportunity."Another way of saying, "When one door closes another opens." We may not always see the opportunity right away. It may take time for us to learn the lessons we need to learn from each and every experience. The lesson will eventually show itself, the opportunity will be there waiting. So the first thing that we can do when we enter difficult times is to ask ourselves, "What is the lesson I need to learn from this?" If we don't learn the lesson then chances are it could happen again. It's okay to ask others what they think the lesson is. You would be amazed at the wealth of information other people can offer.
There is no one that I know who has a perfect life free from Peaks and Valleys! We all experience setbacks and disappointments. It's how we handle the down times that really sets us apart from all the rest. Remember the saying, "The cream always rises to the top." Truly strong people always survive and learn from their mistakes and come out better for it. It's up to each one of us to be in control of our own destiny. Spencer Johnson, MD, wrote a great book called Peaks and Valleys, Making Good and Bad Times Work For You - At Work and In Your Life. This is a great read and a charming story. One of the things the books says is, "Peaks and Valleys are not just the good and the bad times that happen to you. They are also how you feel inside and respond to outside events."So we must try to make the most of our down times too. Even Neil Young said, "As you go through life, you've got to see the valleys as well as the peaks."
When we are in these down times it is the time for reflection and introspection. Maybe we need the down times to learn the lessons so that we can come back stronger the next time. Maybe we need the downtimes so that we can really appreciate the good times. You all know how much I promote the gratitude list. Whenever I am feeling in the muck of it I always try to remember all the things that I am so very grateful for. Once I start feeling grateful that feeling of "poor me" seems to disappear. Looking at those who are less fortunate really helps to put things in perspective. Henry Ford once said, "Failure is an opportunity to begin again more intelligently."
Let's remember no matter what, that every single person who ever made it to the top of a peak had spent many a day in the valley. We need the valleys to help us get to our peaks in life. When we learn from our mistakes the future is brighter and safer. Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, "When it is dark enough, you can see the stars." So when you experience your next dark time and you feel like you are drowning in the muck look out and see if you can see the stars. If there weren't any valleys there would be no peaks. Remember this on your journey as you try to reach out for the peaks in your own life.
“Accept the challenges so that you can feel the exhilaration of victory."
- George S. Patton
