RECEIVE FREE
TAMMY'S WEEKLY TIP

Testimonial

Thank you Tammy for sharing the secrets of your success in business and relationship building. You have truly inspired me to take my business to the next level!

- Dick Sundel, Full Service House Sitting LLC

More Testimonials

Tammy's Tips

Gratitude

Tammy Saltzman - Wednesday, September 28, 2011

“The unthankful heart... discovers no mercies; but let the thankful heart sweep through the day and, as the magnet finds the iron, so it will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings!" - Henry Ward Beecher

Tip 71 is on Gratitude. I am beyond grateful that today I get to present to you my 71st Tip. How awesome is that? Everyone has heard many times "Count your blessings" well I am here to tell you that counting your blessings is the true key to all happiness in life. Spending time wishing for, hoping for, or waiting for something to happen so that you can be happy is really such a waste of precious time and energy. I am always reminding people, "This is not a dress rehearsal" so why wait to be happy. Why spend time complaining about things we don't have or scores we need to settle? Who really cares? Why not focus on what we do have and be grateful for everything in our life today just as it is NOW. I just love this quote by Epictetus, "He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has."

The moment I start feeling sorry for myself, which I refer to as my "Pity Party" I immediately go into grateful mode. I grab my journal or any piece of paper will do and start writing down all the things for which I am grateful. The list is often the same list from the last time, but nevertheless, I go through the motions and write down my list. Gerald Good reminds us, "If you want to turn your life around, try thankfulness. It will change your life mightily." I am grateful for so many things and I much prefer to focus on that. Focusing on the things that I am grateful for brightens my mood, improves my day and gives me this feeling of overall contentment. What are you grateful for? Believe it or not, I am even grateful for my ex-husband. I was blessed with a wonderful son and 3 incredible step children. He provided financially for us allowing me to open my own law firm and title company. I can go on, but I am hoping that you get my point. I would rather focus my energy on all the things that he did good rather than spend my time focusing on all that he did bad. Brain Tracy reminds us, "Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation."

Expressing gratitude to others is one of the best things you can do to brighten your day. William Arthur Ward once said, "Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it." Last Friday I spoke for Women's Executive Network and as the members went around the room introducing themselves they complimented the next person before handing over the microphone. Smiles quickly spread around the room with everyone receiving a compliment. Try giving 3 compliments today to anyone around you. Compliment them on anything - their service, their shoes, their hairstyle. Watch as their face lights up and the warm feelings spread through you. In business, complimenting and rewarding your staff for a job well done is the best way to motivate them to work harder for you and go the extra mile. Gratitude and appreciation of others gives them wind beneath their wings. Try it at home with your kids and your spouse. You can read Whale Done if you want some great reading on how to raise children with compliments instead of criticism. Remember this quote by John F. Kennedy, "As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them."

Who are you grateful for? When was the last time that you told them how grateful you were? Albert Schweitzer said it best, "At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us." I am always so grateful for Richie, my best friend and first real business mentor. How about being grateful for those out there that are grateful for us? Dr. Abraham Fischler, someone I admire and respect, is always complimenting me on my Tips and forwarding them to others. I am grateful for him in my life and always love hearing from him. Just this week I got a beautiful card from, Cindy, a business contact and now good friend, just thanking me for all that I do and the kind of person I am. I am grateful for her in my life too. Let those people in your life know how grateful you are for them - it will make their day. Hazrat Inayet Khan said, "A person however learned and qualified in his life's work in whom gratitude is absent, is devoid of that beauty of character which makes personality fragrant."

The Jewish New Year is upon us and it is a great time of to be grateful for all that we have so that next week we can repent. We are also coming to the end of the 3rd quarter of 2011 and there is much we have already accomplished this year to be grateful for. The good news is that we still have 3 months of the year left to run out and finish whatever is left on our plate that we had hoped to complete before the end of the year. Allow me to motivate you through this great quote from Anthony Robbins, "When you are grateful fear disappears and abundance appears." I wish you all abundance in the coming months. L'Shanah Tovah for those celebrating the holiday.

"Gratitude is the least of the virtues, but ingratitude is the worst of vices." Thomas Fuller

Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink

Are You Resourceful?

Tammy Saltzman - Wednesday, April 13, 2011

“If you're the type of person who has to fulfill your dreams, you've gotta be resourceful to make sure you can do it." - Vin Diesel

Tip 64 asks the question Are You Resourceful? Just this week my new friend Sonia complimented me by saying that she thought I was resourceful. She did not realize it as she said it, but I thought that was the nicest compliment anyone has ever given me. I liked it so much I am dedicating this Tip to Being Someone Who Is Resourceful. So once again I ask you, Are You Resourceful? Webster's New World College Dictionary defines the word Resourceful as, "full of resource; able to deal creatively and effectively with problems, difficulties, etc". I LOVE that definition!!! I am resourceful. I am a problem solver, a brainstormer, a masterminder and a coach. I own it and I am thrilled. This is not something that you are when you just are getting started in the business world. It takes experience and age to really become someone who is resourceful. The more we experience and learn in life, the more resourceful we become. Many of us also, have a special way of looking at things, at tackling problems head on, and that makes us appear resourceful to others.

Growing up, the person I most admired was my stepmom, Martha. No matter what it was, no matter what the question, no matter what I needed, she was my go to person. When all else failed I always knew Martha would have the answer or know where to find the answer. I used to say, "Martha is the most resourceful person I know." Now many many years later to be called resourceful in my own right is really too good to be true. It is always interesting how life comes full circle. Thank you Sonia for saying this is now a quality that you see in me and admire. My friend Dic also expressed this compliment to me indirectly by sending Carol my way. Carol just opened her own appellate practice in town and Dic referred her to me as someone who was well connected and could introduce her around. "She's a good person for you to know." WOW!!! Thank you Dic !! I emulate you - because it was not too long ago that you were my go to guy in all things legal. You were always a great resource for me and it is my pleasure to now return the favor. For Carol to succeed she must be resourceful and be around resourceful people. I love this quote by Gary Ryan Blair, "You cannot afford to wait for perfect conditions. Goal setting is often a matter of balancing timing against available resources. Opportunities are easily lost while waiting for perfect conditions."

Resourceful people know how to get things done. They know who to call. They know where to go. Resourceful people know how to solve problems, come up with solutions, overcome obstacles and know how to think outside the box. The best part of being resourceful is knowing when you don't know and knowing where to look for it. I may not always have the answer, but I know who I can call who might be able to help. You have to stop and laugh when you hear this quote by Scott Adams, "There is nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot." I also think resourceful people make the best networkers. They know how to bring key people together, how to make the right introductions and how to give more than they promise so they are always over delivering. Resourceful people know how to put the right team of people together to get any job done. They also know how to analyze production, motivate others, and create a true team spirit.

How can you be resourceful today? Do you have a project that you have been putting off because you don't have all the answers? Who would have all the answers or at least some of them. Who would you need to call to answer some of the tough questions. Believe it or not, sometimes your competition turns out to be the best resource. Who better to ask than someone who has been there and done that. Who would turn down a call from someone saying that you admire them and would like to learn more about how they have been so successful? Resourceful people know how to get information out of people and how to make them feel good about divulging. Resourceful people are always appreciative of their resources. Don't let obstacles stop you. Remember this quote by Daniel J. Boorstin, "The courage to imagine the otherwise is our greatest resource, adding color and suspense to all our life."

Feel free to call me if there is a project that you are working on that needs completion. I am happy to work with you in getting the project outlined and putting a personal action plan into place. For those of you feel you can manage on your own I am attaching a copy of my personal action plan for your own use (FORM). Good luck being resourceful or gathering other resourceful people into your lives.

“Remember you will not always win. Some days, the most resourceful individuals will taste defeat. But there is, in this case, always tomorrow - after you have done your best to achieve success today." - Maxwell Maltz

Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink

Do What You Love..., Love What You Do

Tammy Saltzman - Wednesday, March 16, 2011

“If there is no passion in your life, then have you really lived? Find your passion, whatever it may be. Become it, and let it become you and you will find great things happen FOR you, TO you and BECAUSE of you." - T. Alan Armstrong

Tip 61 is on Do What You Love..., Love What You Do. How many of us really get to do what we love every single day of our lives? One of my first secrets to success that I share with students is, "They should follow their own dreams not their parent's dreams." It amazes me how many adults that I meet that are looking for motivation and can't seem to find it becuase they really don't love what they're doing. How excited and motivated can any one person be if they are not passionate about their work or their projects in life. When there is passion there is motivation. Oprah Winfrey has said many times, "Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you." Think about that. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths and dream your biggest dreams. If you could be doing anything you wanted to do what would it be? Here is a great quote from Julia Cameron, "What we really want to do is what we are really meant to do. When we do what we are meant to do, money comes to us, doors open for us, we feel useful, and the work we do feels like play to us."

Do you know the answer to the question? Are you in touch with your dreams? What was it you wanted to be when you were young? For me, I always wanted to be a lawyer or the President of the United States of America. For me it was never a teacher or a nurse like many young girls yearn to be. I love this anonymous quote, "Above all, be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it." Your ultimate dream may take time and may take patience. I did not go to school to get my undergraduate degree until I was 26 years old. It took me 8 long years of full-time employment and part-time schooling, then 3 years of law school. It took an very long time, but time passed and eventually my dream came to fruition. I practiced real estate law for 9 years and then started coaching other lawyers on how to build their book of business. My goals transformed into a dream of speaking and training and coaching. My dream is still getting refined because what I love more than anything is speaking to students. How cool is that to be so sure of what it is that makes you happy that makes you feel "used up" as George Bernard Shaw would tell us. Be careful, this quote by Walter Chrysler says it all, "I feel sorry for the person who can't get genuinely excited about his work. Not only will be never be satisfied, but he will never achieve anything worthwhile."

The feeling one gets from doing what they love is euphoric. Packed with chills, goose bumps and what I refer to as the "work orgasm." There is no motivation needed when you really love what you do. Mondays are exciting and full of new possibilities. TGIF means "Thank God I Feel" - and I will rest so that I can be productive again on Monday. When we do what we love we are always telling others about what we do and sharing our joy and our passion. We try to recruit everyone and want everyone to be as content as we are. WOW!!! Earl Nightingale said it best, "The more intensely we feel about an idea or a goal, the more assuredly the idea, buried deep in our subconscious, will direct us along the path to its fulfillment." I will remind you again, "this is not a dress rehearsal." Stop waiting for the kids to leave or your husband to retire to go back to school or to begin a new career. You are never too old and it is never too late.

It is a life sentence to go to a job everyday that does not bring you joy. I am not saying that you should go out and quit your job, but sit down and mastermind a plan for yourself. If you need help speak with a mentor or significant other to see what would need to happen to have your dream come true. I am always available for coaching sessions as well. Here is another great anonymous quote, "Many things will catch your eye, but only a few will catch your heart... PURSUE THOSE." Let me give you a perfect example. I was getting my nails done last Friday and the nail technician, Erica, was complaining about how much she disliked her jobs. She works full time for a restaraunt in their catering department and then 2 days doing nails. Neither job is her dream job so they both seems like chores to her. There is no passion and no joy. I asked her if she could do anything she wanted what would that be. She did not even think about it before she blurted out she would do something in animal rescue. When she described her dream job her whole demeanor changed. She got this huge smile on her face, her eyes lit up, she sat up straight and she was so excited. I encouraged her to look into her dream. Do work on Sunday doing animal rescue to get some experience. Get on the dog rescue lists of persons willing to take in animals. She may not be able to quit her other jobs right away, but perhaps down the road she can come up with an exit strategy. Confucius once said, "Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life."

“Dont' ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive." - Howard Thurman

Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink

Patience

Tammy Saltzman - Wednesday, March 02, 2011

“Learn the art of patience. Apply discipline to your thoughts when they become anxious over the outcome of a goal. Impatience breeds anxiety, fear, discouragement, and failure. Patience creates confidence, decisiveness, and a rational outlook which eventually leads to success." - Brian Adams

Tip 60 is on Patience. I have heard it said many times that we often teach what we need to learn the most. Going back to a Tip from last year called Patience is a Virtue I realized that I claimed to be a patient person. That claim might not really be totally true and it is time for me to come clean. The proverb, "Patience is a virtue", is one that I aspire to master in all areas of my life. I also notice that there are some things that I am more patient with than others. I was patient when going to school to earn first my bachelor's degree and then my law degree. I was patient when building my home and carefully selecting all of the furnishings. Yet, as I participate in these areas of my life, the day to day management style is one of I want what I want and I know what I want and when I want it I want it now or yesterday if at all possible. So St. Francis de Sales said it right when he said, "Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself."

So when I was in college I knew exactly what classes I wanted to take and what time I needed to take those classes. I did not dilly dally and was never a big fan of dropping or switching classes. I was focused and assured and moved full steam ahead with the decisions I made and the direction I was headed. I never changed my major and everything from the LSAT to the Bar exam was timed in perfect harmony toward the end goal. Undergrad took 7 years part time while I worked full time and law school was another 3 years, so many would say that I did exhibit patience. Barbara Johnson really explains it well, "Patience is the ability to idle your motor when you feel like stripping your gears." If I could I would have finished college in 3 years instead of 7, but I did what I could and patiently waited for the credits to add up so I could graduate. I really lose patience when others around me are not as focused. Both my stepsons took a semester off from college in 2010 to "figure things out" and are now on their own 6 year college plan and not sure of what they want to do with their lives so they are majoring in business. Our children always try our patience.

When I decorated my house I never took my mom or a friend for a second opinion. I knew what I liked and what I didn't like. Sometimes I would take something home to select a fabric or carpet and just to make sure the colors worked, but I was decisive and matter of fact. My home is beautiful and as I look around I have a real sense of pride. Not everyone is like that though. Some people we all know can never make a decision. They hem and they haw and they ask everyone and their brother what they think before they ever make a decision. I have no patience for people like that. I am the same way with shoes and clothes. I either like it or I don't. There is a Chinese Proverb that says, "All good things come to those who wait." Wait for what though and why do we have to wait for all good things? Why can't we have all good things now!!! The late George Jackson once said, "Patience has its limits. Take it too far, and it's cowardice."

In business we need to practice patience every single day. Patience with our partners, our bosses and our employees. Our coworkers are always trying our patience and let's face it we spend more time with them than we do with our own families. You have heard me say so many times that the client/customer is always right and boy do you need to have a lot of patience when it comes to making sure the customer is always happy. I like this quote by Lord Chesterfield, "Patience is a most necessary qualification for business; many a man would rather you heard his story than granted his request." I so believe this to be true. I have found that when a client has been unhappy in the past if I take the time to really listen and hear their point of view it is enough to calm the waters down once again. I think that Sir Isaac Newton probably said it best, "If I have ever made any valuable discoveries, it has been owing more to patient attention, than to any other talent." WOW I find that profound.

I am now learning that I have little patience for the dating game. I used to be quite good at it back in the day before I was married. Now my time is limited and my needs are very different. I love the institution of marriage and like having a partner in life. I have no patience for the games and they getting to know you stage - even though it is a lot of fun. Again, I know what I like and I know what I want and this is not a dress rehearsal. My grandma, Redmama, used to say, "Men are like buses another one comes by every few minutes." The problem is who has time to inspect bus after bus after bus. We all know that relationships aren't easy and in the end if it is meant to be it will be. So all I could do is relax, be patient and enjoy the ride. Here is another great quote, "The secret of patience is doing something else in the meanwhile." That is all fine and good, but when you do meet someone that you really like you want it more and you want it now. Patience in areas of the heart is never easy.

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. An the point is to live everything. Live the questions." - Rainer Maria Rilke

Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink

Being Careful

Tammy Saltzman - Tuesday, February 01, 2011

“Be careful what you water your dreams with. Water them with worry and fear and you will produce weeds that choke the life from your dream. Water them with optimism and solutions and you will cultivate success. Always be on the lookout for ways to nuture your dreams." - Lao Tzu

Tip 56 is on Being Careful. Are you someone who tends to be careful and cautious or are you someone that jumps in with both feet and throws caution to the wind? There is a good arguement for both perspectives. Webster's New World College Dictionary defines the word careful as follows, "acting or working in a thoughtful, painstaking way; cautious, wary, or guarded." And the word carefree as, "free from troubles or worry." I do believe that there is a time to be careful and a time to be carefree. Feeling carefree is a gift that we should all enjoy whenever we can and it is usually a reward that we get from being careful. Ben Franklin once said, "Distrust and caution are the parents of security." It is only when we feels most secure that we can throw caution to the wind and enjoy a carefree moment.

As a lawyer it is really my job to look for all the things that can go wrong. It is our job as attorneys to let our clients know what is their worst case scenario. We are trained to look at the upside and weight it against the downside. It is our job to make sure that the client knows the worst possible outcome of each decision they make so that they can make an educated decision. I try hard not to be this pessimistic in my real world, but when a client pays you to play the devils advocate it is our ethical responsibility to perform. Ralph Waldo Emerson will remind us, "A man is usually more careful of his money that he is of his principles."

In business we are always cautious. Buying businesses, taking in partners, hiring employees, and securing vendors. It's a risky business out there and checking out the reputation of the people we do business with makes perfect sense. With today's technology everyone's information is just a click away on Google. The Better Business Buereau and Daily Business Review have all their records available on line. Court records and deeds are all public documents that are now available on line at most court houses throughout the United States. When is comes to financial matters we need to be as careful as possible. Not only do we consult our lawyers, but we now consult our CPA's, financial planners, and our estate planners. Unfortunately, no matter how careful we are are many of life's lessons end up costing us money. Do your best to try and learn the expensive lessons from the mistakes of others. Remember this by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, "Every step of life shows much caution is required." I think that is another way of saying the older we get the more jaded we become.

As a parent I am always cautioning my children to be careful. We start when they are very young. Don't touch the stove, look both ways when you cross. Be careful!! We are worried for our children and don't want them to get hurt. Even as adults our parents are worried and still tell us to be careful. Adam's mom Joan just told him to be careful when he told her all about me this past week. I have heard the same advice as well from my well meaning friends and family. Joan doesn't know me and my friends don't know Adam, but everyone says the same thing, "We are so happy for you. Go slow, be careful." When it comes to matters of the heart it is so much harder to be careful. The excitement and the hope take over and just sweep you off your feet. Aren't we all looking for ever lasting love?? Bertrand Russell once said, "Of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness." Yet e.e.cummings reminds us, "Be of love a little more careful than of anything." I would like to think that what he meant was that once you find love be careful with it, preserve it and cherish it so that you don't lose it. Sorry Joan, it's too late - if it doesn't work out it will probably hurt, but if it does work out - G-d bless and thank you Lisa.

“It is better to err on the side of daring than the side of caution." - Alvin Toffler

Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink

Appreciation

Tammy Saltzman - Monday, January 31, 2011

“None of us got where we are solely by pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps. We got here because somebody - a parent, a teacher, an Ivy League crony or a few nuns - bent down and helped us pick up our boots."- Thurgood Marshall

Tip 54 is on Appreciation. Specifically appreciation of other people in your life that really made a difference. Many people come and go into our lives everyday, but every now and then we are moved by the acts of others. Look back and see who is it that really impacted your life in one way or the other. The impact could even be bad, but what we actually learned was good. Have we said "thank you" to the people that have made some lasting impression? I started thinking about this as I prepared for the International Speech Contest tomorrow at Toastmasters. I am doing my speech about my dad and all the lessons that I have learned from him and how much I appreciate all that I learned. I can't call my dad to say thank you, but I can honor his memory by keeping his name (Saltzman) and using all that I learned from him for good. I love this quote by John F. Kennedy, "As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them."

As I started to think about all my appreciation I have for my dad, I started realizing that in the last few days I have been very appreciative. My dear friend Monty invited me to one of his infamous wine dinners. The food and wine was delicious, the company delightful, and a good time was had by all. Another dear friend Lisa set me up on a blind date Saturday night. The date happened to be one of the best blind dates I ever had, but regardless, I was so appreciative that she thought of me and passed my number along. I tried to express my appreciation by sending Monty an email the next morning and texting Lisa some of the details from my Saturday night date. Remember, Mark Kay Ash once said, "Everyone wants to be appreciated, so if you appreciate someone, don't keep it a secret." As far as love is concerned, Alexander Smith reminds us, "Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others, and the delight in the recognition." Hence, the great date with Adam.

You are always hearing me talk about how much I love my job and the firm that I work for, Ellis, Ged & Bodden, P.A. Yes, I am constantly appreciating my working situation, but it means nothing if I don't communicate it to the people I work for and the people I work with. I am always telling my boss how much I love my job and how much fun I have every single day. I truly believe this quote by William James, "The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated." And if there is ever a time that you don't appreciate your job, please remember this quote by Oscar Wilde, "The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one." And if you are a business owner that happens to have great employees, remember they too want to be appreciated. Sam Walton, founder of Walmart, really said it best, "Appreciate everything your associates do for the business. Nothing else can quite substitute for a few well-chosen, well timed, sincere words of praise. They're absolutely free and worth a fortune."

So, as I was sitting here writing my Tip my son's tutor came in to provide me with the weekly progress report for Brandon. Greg Yodowitz, like most teachers is under paid and under appreciated. Teachers are responsible for our children's futures. Teachers never get enough appreciation. Mr. Yodowitz, we love you, thanks for making a difference in Brandon's education. Dan Rather said it best, "The dream begins with a teacher who believes in you, who tugs and pushes and leads you to the next plateau, sometime poking you with a sharp stick called truth." So really, please act immediately to this anonymous quote, "If you can read this, go thank a teacher." If you live in the Boca Raton area and are looking for a good tutor see Mr. Yodowitz's contact information below.

“We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have." Fredierick Keonig

Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink

Honesty

Tammy Saltzman - Monday, January 24, 2011

“We tell lies when we are afraid...afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing that we fear grows stronger." _ Tad Williams

Tip 54 is on Honesty. My favorite, Webster's New World College Dictionary defines the word honesty as, "the state or quality of being honest; a refraining from lying, cheating or stealing; a being truthful, trustworthy, or upright; sincereity, fairness, straightforwardness." Are you someone who always tells the truth? Or are you someone who tells white lies? Are you someone that justifies telling little white lies to save someone's feelings? Take a good long look at what others would say about you. Are you someone who can be trusted or not? That is a huge question!!! The answer means everything and says everything about your reputation out there in the real world. I am brutely honest to a fault. This proverb totally describes me, "If you truly want honesty, don't ask the questions you don't really want the answers to." Yes, sometimes the truth does hurt, but I would much rather cause a small hurt by telling the truth then causing a huge ongoing hurt because I lied.

This anonymous quote says it all, "Once a liar, always a liar." Once someone lies to you, how could you ever ever ever trust them again. Every single time they say anything to you after they are caught lying, you can't help but wonder if they are lying again. My mom used to always say, "It takes a lifetime to build a good reputation and 15 seconds to destroy it." It is in those 15 seconds that you decide to tell a lie instead of telling the truth. Most of the time when we lie it is because it is easier, or so we think, to tell the lie. So instead of saying, I'm tired tonight and not in the mood to go out to dinner - we say sorry my kid is sick. I am not sure why some of us think it is easier to lie because now days later when you speak with that friend you need to remember that you told them the kid was sick and the lying continues when they ask you how your kid is feeling. I love this Spencer Johnson quote, "Integrity is telling myself the truth. And honesty is telling the truth to other people." Integrity also means not looking for loopholes to justify your lies.

Many years ago when I took the original EST Training, I was 15 years old, and I decided right there and then to never ever tell a lie again. I decided that I wanted to be someone who others could trust. I wanted to have a reputation of honor and integrity. William Shakespeare said it best, "Honest is the best policy. If I lose mine honor, I lose myself." It is so much easier to just tell the truth and deal with the ramifications at the time. It takes so much more effort to lie. Here is another great quote, this time by Mark Twain, "If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything."

White lies never hurt anyone..., How many times have you heard that. It might not hurt the person you are lying to, but it definitely hurts you. You become known as someone who doesn't tell the truth. You are someone who tells white lies. I love this quote by Austin O'Malley, "Those who think it is permissible to tell white lies soon grow color blind." We make excuses for our small white lies and justify our actions by saying we are saving another person's feelings. Remember this yiddish proverb, "A half truth is a whole lie." It is never easier to just tell a small white lie.

We have all heard this quote before, "Actions speak louder than words." How about, "Children learn from example." Think about this. Your children will grow up and emulate you as best as they can. How do you want your children to view you? They know the truth - they are always an earshot away. They know in their hearts whether you are a parent who tells the truth or not. Think about this quote from Roy L. Smith, "We are apt to forget that children watch examples better that they listen to preaching." And here is another great quote to remember from Clarence Businton Kelland, "My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it." Keep this in mind next time you are on the phone or at a store or you have company over and your children are there to watch, to hear and to learn from your example. Be the kind of parent that sets a good example for your children. Teach them to tell the truth! Always remember this quote by William Shakespeare, "No legacy is so rich as honesty."

“To be persuasive we must be believable; to be believable we must be credible; to be credible we must be truthful." - Edward R. Murrow

Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink

Burning Bridges

Tammy Saltzman - Tuesday, January 11, 2011

“People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges." -Anonymous
"He who burns his bridges better be a damn good swimmer." - Proverb

Tip 53 is on Burning Bridges. To burn or not to burn is the question? Are you someone who burns bridges or you someone who never burns a bridge. I am sure that we have already talked about this topic once before, but we can all think about this topic again. For me, I am a firm believer in never burning bridges. I have come to learn in my life that you just never know when you might need to cross that bridge again and if you burn it you can never go back. Of course, there are always circumstances that might warrant such drastic action, but those are far and few.

So, why burn the bridge in the first place? There could be many reasons to burn a bridge, but we should exam the reasons. Make a list of all the people in your life that you have cut off - never to be spoken to again. Jot a note beside each name to see why you have decided to burn that bridge. If someone wronged you: slept with your spouse, stole money from your accounts, etc., you are justified. "If you hurt me once shame on you, but if you hurt me twice shame on me." We can cut those people out that lie, cheat and steal. Who needs their bad karma around us? You can also eliminate people who treat others with no respect. I once had a friend that I met through another couple. We would go out together as couples for dinner. Every single time we went out this friend would be nasty to the restaraunt personnel, rude to the valet and then spend most of the night emasculating her husband. FInally, after about 5-6 dinners with this couple I refused to go out with them anymore. Believe it or not when she asked why I told her the truth.

A lot of times we burn bridges because we don't get our way and we get angry. Elliott Larson said it best, "Anger always comes from frustrated expectations." Hearing the word "no" can really set a lot of people off and then we say or do things out of anger that has the potential to burn the bridge even if it's not what we intended. This often happens with the people we love most - like our children. This past week one of my children was finally moving out and getting his own place. He is 21 years old and when his dad and I got married he was 9 and he and his siblings came to live with me. This past year he has been living with me even though his dad has not. When I asked him to move out because things were not really working out for me he got angry and told me I am not his mother, never will be his mother, and never ever to call him again. He is lucky I love him unconditionally or I may have allowed him to burn that bridge. Unfortunately, he took advantage and didn't really appreciate the opportunity I provided living home with me. He felt entitled. I love this quote by Marian Wright Edelman, "Don't feel entitled to anything you didn't sweat and struggle for." And here is a great quote from William James, "The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated." Regardless, be careful of cutting people of your life just because you couldn't get your way.

Sometimes we burn bridges in business. The most common mistake is burning a relationship with one of our customers. Trust me when I tell you there is no amount of money in the world that you could pay to counteract bad press from even one other person out there carrying a vendetta. The price you would need to pay to make the customer happy and satisfied is so much less than the damage one unhappy customer is capable of doing. Always, always, always try to go the extra mile to satifisy even the most difficult of customers. Sometimes it's not fair and the customer is not right, but it is so much better to have a happy customer than to have an unhappy one. In business, the customer is always, always, always right. Remember this quote by Dennis Wholey, "Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting a bull not to attack you because you are a vegitarian." Life isn't always fair and sometimes we need to come out of pocket to make someone happy.

“Maturity is: The ability to stock with a job until it's finished; The abilility to do a job without being supervised; The ability to carry money without spending it; and The ability to bear an injustice without wanting to get even." - Abigail Van Buren

Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink

Happy Happy Joy Joy

Tammy Saltzman - Tuesday, December 28, 2010

“Joy lies in the fight, in the attempt, in the suffering invovled, not in the victory itself." - Mahatma Gandi

Tip 52 is on Happy Happy Joy Joy!!! Tis the season to be joyful and what a great quote to start this tip with. This is the time of year we are usually setting our new goals for the next year and making resolutions. I recommend that you all take some time to look back over the past year and look for the Happy Happy Joy Joy that you all experienced. Look at all of your accomplishments, all the new connections you made and friendships that you formed. Look at all the things that others did for you this year and all the things that you did for others. WOW - what a year it has been. Please pat yourself right now on the back, yes right now, and feel the joy from accomplishing all that you accomplished. I love this anonymous quote, "Joy springs from within; no one makes you joyous; you choose joyfulness."

When I look back at the last year I can honestly say that things did not really turn out for me as I had expected. Never in a million years did I think I would be getting divorced. I can sit at home and cry over all the lost dreams and sulk about how lonely I am without someone to kiss on New Years. But there is no joy in that!! Marianne Williamson, whom I love, once said, "Joy is what happens when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things are. Joy is not necessarily what happens when things unfold according to our plans." How true that is, we are busy making plans and they don't always work out exactly as we planned. So instead of focusing on how my marriage did not work out, I would rather focus on the good. Spending last year at home with my soon to be ex was horrible. We were invited to my friend Lisa's and at the last minute my ex threw a fit and didn't want to go. Not wanting to leave him alone, I stayed home too. He went to bed mad, I was sad and lonely, and the rest is history. I am certain, no matter what, that this year will be better than that. Not one part of me wishes that I could go back to that. I would rather celebrate that this year it is so much better to be alone than with someone that you can't stand.

I also want to celebrate my new job with Ellis, Ged & Bodden. How great is it to create your dream job? Wow - I work with great people, the firm has a great reputation, my providers are wonderful and I am having fun every single day. Phil Jackson said, "Winning is important to me, but what brings me real joy is the experience of being fully engaged in whatever I'm doing." Giving 110% is what it is all about. Doing a great job, going the extra mile, showing up fully engaged and having fun. Remember this anonymous quote, "Enjoy life, This is not a dress rehearsal." If you don't love what you do every day make it your mission for next year to find a job that makes you happy. Life is way too short to be miserable every day. This is also a great time of year to thank others for their service. Saying thank you in any way is better than not saying thank you at all. It does not take big bonuses or large presents to let someone know that you appreciate all they do. I decided to get chocolates for the support staff that helps me most at the office. Starbucks cards for my stylist, manicurist and postman. The smile on their faces was worth the small amount of money I spent and boy did it make me feel good to say thank you. Remember this important quote by Robert Murray McCheyne, "Joy is increased by spreading it to others." And this quote by Neal Donald Walch, "Release the joy inside of another, and you release the joy that is inside you."

Be careful not to be jealous of others. Bask in the happiness of others. Everyone is entitled to a little happiness, even though you yourself may not be at the happiest time of your life. I am so happy for my friends who have someone special to share this holiday season with and I am sure that they too would be happy for me if the shoe was on the other foot. This is a great quote from Robert A. Heinlein, "One of the sanest, surest, and most generous joys of life comes from being happy over the good fortune of others." This is not an easy task, but it is the most selfless of things one can aspire to be. I just love this quote from Maya Angelou, "When you wish someone joy, you wish them peace, love, prosperity... all good things." Go out there and share your joy. Wish the friends and family in your life good things. Share in their happiness and bask in their rays of joy. There is enough joy to go around in the world. Remember this quote always by Henry Ward Beecher, "The sun does not shine for a few trees and flowers, but for the wide world's joy."

I want to wish all of you out there, my very loyal readers, a very happy and healthy new year. As always I wish for you all that you wish for and I am always here to help you along your path to finding your true dreams and aspirations and helping you to achieve them. Live your truth and let others live their truths. Say thank you to those you love and appreciate. Thank you to all my loyal readers for reading my weekly tips, sending me your feedback, and for sending me so many numerous offers for writing, speaking and entertaining. I am looking forward to much success in the new year for all of us.

“What I know for sure is that you feel real JOY in direct proportion to how connected you are to living your truth." - Oprah Winfrey

Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink

Manifestation

Tammy Saltzman - Tuesday, December 14, 2010

“The more clear and definite you make your picture then, and the more you dwell upon it, bringing out all its delightful details, the stronger your desire will be, and the stronger your desire, the easier it will be to hold your mind fixed upon the picture of what you want." Wallace D. Wattles

Tip 51 is on Manifestation. Some definitions of the word "manifest" from the Webster's New World College Dictionary are, "palpable, evident; to make clear, show plainly, reveal; to show itself." Sounds like magic, but it is as simple as this quote by Henry Ford, "Whether you think you can or can't you are right." I don't know about you, but I would much prefer to think I can all of the time. I can create my own reality and I choose that reality to be one that revolves around the basic concept of "I can".

The first step in manifesting your dreams is to write them down. Once you commit your dreams to paper they become a real goal that you can now break down into steps necessary to achieving your dream. Remember this quote by Napoleon Hill, "Whatever your mind can conceive and can believe, it can achieve." What is it that you want to manifest in 2011. Even Pablo Picaso once said, "Everything you can imagine is real." Is it a new job, a new relationship, more income, or better health? Sit down and think of your dream situation and then commit it to paper. Goals are really just dreams with a time line. Mark Victor Hansen said, "You control your future, your destiny. What you think about comes about. By recording your dreams and goals on paper, you set in motion the process of becoming the person you most want to be. Put your future in good hands - your own." If you really want to up the ante I recommend that you share your written dream with at least one person. I am a firm believer in the more people you tell the more chances for success. Another great thing about sharing your dreams is getting feedback from those that support you. Ignore the naysayers at all costs and fill your world with those who are there to offer positive feedback, suggestions, and key connections for helping you manifest your dreams.

Anything is possible. Wayne Dyer has said, "The power of intention is the power to manifest, to create, to live a life of unlimited abundance, and to attract into your life the right people at the right moments." When I decided to go back to work I knew exactly the type of job I wanted. I decided I wanted to do marketing for a law firm, work from the house, work 25 hours a week, home by 3:00 so I could help my son with his homework, and work with a firm who had a stellar reputation. I knew exactly who to call, founding partner, Ronda Ellis, who was thrilled to have me on board. Not only did I get exactly what I wanted, I love what I am doing and love the people I work for at Ellis, Ged & Bodden, P.A. The power of intention is amazing if you truly believe that you are worthy to reap the rewards. This year I want to work on getting more paid speaking engagements, finalizing my divorce, and figure out a way to stay in my home. All things are possible if you believe them to be so. Carl Sandburg said, "Nothing happens but first a dream."

There will be obstacles in your path. There will be naysayers who tell you that you can't succeed, won't succeed, and the best one, you will never make any money doing that. Don't listen to those people. Most of them never believed they could reach their own dreams, so why should you be able to reach yours. James Allen said, "A man sooner or later discovers that he is the master-gardner of his soul, the director of his life." Don't let others rip away your dreams. If you are passionate about something, if it brings you great joy, then follow your true desires and miracles will happen. Watch out for past history playing a part in your future. You may have tried other things in the past that may not have worked out as you expected. Use those as learning experiences to succeed in the future, not as reasons to stop you from following a new dream. I love this quote by Eckhart Tolle,"The past has no power over the present moment." Unless you try, one shall never know. It is better to try and fail that to never have tried at all.

I wish for you all that you wish for in 2011.

“Every great work, every big accomplishment, has been brought into manifestation through holding to the vision, and often just before the big achievement, comes apparent failure and discouragement." - Florence Scovel Shinn

Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink

Previous 1 2 3 4 Next

Search

RECEIVE FREE
TAMMY'S WEEKLY TIP

Testimonial

Tammy's Tips

Gratitude

Are You Resourceful?

Do What You Love..., Love What You Do

Patience

Being Careful

Appreciation

Honesty

Burning Bridges

Happy Happy Joy Joy

Manifestation

Recent Posts

Tags

Archive

Search

RECEIVE FREE TAMMY'S WEEKLY TIP

Testimonial

Tammy's Tips

Recent Posts

Tags

Archive

RECEIVE FREE
TAMMY'S WEEKLY TIP